Spectrum
by MyHeartIsAnApple
Summary: *ON HIATUS UNTIL SEPTEMBER*The world of the impenetrable Teresa Lisbon is upset by the encounter with a mysterious man, ready to help her to solve a brutal drug case and to enter like a tornado in her personal life. AU T/M
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here I am, again! So this is a new territory for me, I want to try an AU story (multi-chapter).. I know this is totally AU, more or less, but it will have a lot of TM aspects, the characters are basically the same for example, so give it a try, please!**

The penetrating wind kept pricking her skin like an eternal reminder of the failure she had just experimented; she tightened the coat around her to feel a sort of alternative comfort, while pondering, almost amused, about how funerals were always all windy and gloomy, even in Sacramento. She hated funerals, who loved them anyway, but for her, for a woman who had learnt to suffer and to grow up at the same time, funerals were just a way to remind her that the pain was never over, that it was an eternal vicious circle. She used to travel with her mind during funerals, thinking about the most funny and absurd things, what to cook for dinner, what color to dye her hair or better, how to find the courage to do it and how many episodes of her favorite crime show she needed to catch up. Suddenly, a hand on her shoulder stopped her train of pleasant and totally amiss thoughts.

"Boss, it wasn't your fault." An Asian man, half stoicism half charm told her.

"Thanks, Kimball." She smiled, trying to stop that stubborn tear ready to drop from her eye.

 _Not here, not in front of everybody, Teresa._

Melissa Hasting had been her confidential informant until three days ago; until she had found the young girl strangled on a dark road of Sacramento. She had promised to protect her, to give her a promising future like she was able to do that anyway. She had failed and this failure hurt more than the previous ones somehow. Teresa Lisbon had no children, she wasn't even sure she wanted one someday, but she had this natural empathy toward desperate and hopeless people, maybe because she was one of them, even if her badge and her confident posture could suggest the contrary. She loved to hide herself behind this image, this shield built involuntary that could keep her away from dealing with her demons. She loved this false concept that people had of her. She loved the fact that nobody knew who she really was, that was the only thing that made her feel special, proud somehow.

What a bitter consolation.

"Agent Lisbon, a word!" Her boss, Virgin Minelli told her. She was relieved to follow him in a more private corner, relieved because she knew that with him she could lower her barriers a little without being judged and mostly, without surprising him much.

"You couldn't do anything more, Teresa." He said, extracting a cigarette from his pocket.

"Don't." She said, taking the cigarette from him. "Come on, don't look at me like a wounded puppy." She said, throwing the cigarette while some silent tears was leaving her eyes. " I screwed up everything, Virgil."

"No, you didn't! Look, it's a very hard case, don't give up now! We already have a new lead, Melissa found something before dying, your agents Rigsby and Van Pelt are already on it and.."

"I should go to check, then!" She interrupted him.

"No way! You're going home right now! Call Marcus and spend the evening with him, how are things going on between you two anyway.. what is it, a year?"

"Ten months.. and yes fine, I guess." She answered, hoping to change the subject immediately.

"I'm happy for you, you deserve to have someone.."

"Oh cut the crap, Virgil." She said, maybe too sharply. "Sorry." She added soon after.

"Go home." He said, squeezing her shoulder.

"Call me if there's anything new."

"I will."

The truth was that the Red bull case was consuming her, slowly but inexorably; a drug case had the power, this infinite power, to drag you in the dark with its constant and stubborn presence. Sometimes Lisbon felt dirty and incredible wrong. The Red bull was the first place where everything had started, a dusty traditional pub full of drunken motorcyclists; that place had totally misled them. This sick traffic of drug was different from the usual ones or better from the most common ones. It involved young girls, aspirant models most of all, desperately addicted to these magic pills able to make you lose pounds and be high at the same time, a really lucky combo in that outrageous world, not understandable to her eyes, that had already killed five of them without leaving tracks. Melissa was one of those skinny, too skinny, girls that she had tried to save at all costs.

Lisbon wasn't surprised to find Marcus who was waiting for her at home, two glasses of red wine in his hand, like he had been ready for her arrival until now. He seemed like an empty puppet, an attractive empty puppet. That thought made her angry and a little disgusted at the same time but she didn't need an argument to complete her glorious day. She kissed him on the mouth, almost mechanically, then she drank the wine in her glass in one gulp, she filled it two times more and emptied it with the same velocity. Marcus looked at her almost incredulous, she bite his earlobe in response and whispered in his ear seductively, "I want to have fun tonight."

Find comfort in sex after a terrible day, she was incredibly foregone sometimes but she didn't care at the moment or at least she kept telling herself that. They had sex two times that night, there wasn't nothing sweet or remotely sentimental in it; she reflected how her best sexual encounters with Marcus were always with her drunk or angry. Maybe because she didn't love him and she was pretty sure that he didn't love her, even because he didn't know her, not at all. He loved that image of her he had built in his mind and she was ok with that; it wasn't like she needed love in her life anyway. She believed that love was not for everyone, some people born to be alone, to marry solitude and to actually enjoy it sometimes. She was one of them; she had never been in love in her whole life, she was thirty-two and she didn't know what love was.

Marcus happened because Virgil made him happen. He was his grandson and when the old man introduced him to her, she knew that something would have happened. Sometimes she thought about the fact that she had started this relationship more to satisfy his boss. The sex wasn't bad though, he was an attractive man and she didn't need to tell the story about how much pain she had already met in her difficult life. There was this silent accord between them to keep their relationship on a superficial level and she was happy with it. Marcus anyway didn't seem interested in finding out the spectra of her life and that made her feel even more insignificant somehow. The man in question was busy in giving her another wave of pleasure with his fingers when her phone rang suddenly.

"Lisbon." She said, extracting her body from the man behind her.

"Boss, we've found something." A female voice informed her.

"Talk, Van Pelt!"

"It seems like we've found a plausible place involved in the traffic."

"Where it is?" She asked, pushing away Marcus who was trying another approach, he was surely attracted to her at least, maybe too much.

"it's a photography studio, but Boss, you can't imagine which studio it is!"

"What?" She asked impatiently.

"Patrick Jane's studio, Boss!" She answered, almost excited.

"Wait, I've already heard that name." Lisbon said.

"Are you kidding me?" The Agent seemed almost offended by her lack of knowledge. "Boss, he's like the most famous and brilliant fashion photographer in the States!"

"He has been investigated for something, am I right?" She asked.

"Yes, but nothing proved him guilty anyway." She replied victorious.

"Ok, I'll visit him in the morning, I guess."

"Can I come with you, Boss? I mean, if you want."

She hadn't the strength to analyze her suspicious enthusiasm, she was too tired and too drunk for it, "sure, see you tomorrow! Night Van Pelt!" She hung up the phone.

Patrick Jane was tired of being a photographer, or better of photographing models; now, with his hands busy with his loyal photo camera, his eyes tired of seeing the same expressions, the same winks and mouths half open every day, he was cursing himself, wondering when and where his life had taken that turning point. His life, if that life could be still defined as his at that point.

The price of notoriety, someone could say.

Everyone knew about his tragedy, about the love of his life, Angela, taken away from him with a car accident; nobody knew that he was the one driving though. He had found love once and he wasn't interested in finding it again, especially because he was too coward to face that possible pain that love would have comported, not another time. He had been a great photographer once, he had started a collaboration with National Geographic and other important magazines but then, that tragedy had taken away his dreams and ambitions; he simply didn't care anymore or better he didn't have the strength to collect the pieces. He couldn't stop to make photos though, it was his personal way to approach the world; in some indigenous tribes, people believed that photos could steal your soul or pieces of it, it was totally absurd and insane but he loved this theory too much. He loved to think of being able to read people, their mysteries, fears and secrets just with a pic, that's why he didn't want to be photographed , it was too dangerous and intimate.

Besides, the camera was his personal weapon and shield, he loved too much hiding himself behind it.

He started to photograph the women he took in bed, all beautiful and perfectly shaped, thing not really surprising, considering his own aspect ; He knew too well the effect he had on women, he enjoyed that sensation because he liked being and thinking superficial somehow, it was the only way to survive for him, like a breath of fresh air or a way to turn off his pretentious brain . Every time he slept with a new woman though, he closed his eyes for a minute or two, pretending the woman in question was Angela, then, he made them sleep in his bed because he was a gentleman or he liked thinking of that and he said them goodbye the day after without never calling them back. No one had never interrupted this routine, no one would have done it in the future, it was simply impossible. He looked at the girl in front of him, Cindy or something, who was trying to flirt with him during the whole photo shoot.. normally, he would have invited her at dinner and he would have tried to seduce her the same day but he had promised to start to be more selective lately. He ignored her sloppy words and kept doing his job, when Summer, his secretary, entered in the room.

"Patrick, we have visits." She said, trying to find his eyes behind the photo camera.

"I'm busy, Sum!" He replied without stopping.

The girl reached him and whispered, "it's the police."

This caught his attention and he told the girl to make them come in. "Don't worry honey, keep smiling like that." He said to the model in front of him, then, the moment the door opened, looking in the lens of his camera, he found something interesting in the background, or better, someone interesting. It was a woman, a thin and not very tall woman, not at all tall to be honest, but she had an incredibly charisma anyway. He made zoom on her delicate face and found her grumpy look adorable. He focused on her eyes, maybe because they were powerful like a magnet; he smiled behind the photo camera wondering if he had ever found a pair of eyes like those. She had freckles painted on her pale skin, she seemed a little doll, a pissed one though, and this contrast made her irresistible to his eyes. He kept looking at her through the photo camera until she was a few step from him, then he lowered it and the intensity of seeing her, without barriers, confounded him a little.

She was strangely stunning.

"Mister Jane, I'm Agent Teresa Lisbon with the CBI, can I speak with you in private?" She asked secure.

He looked at her with a depth that made her uncomfortable but she didn't look away.

"Teresa, did you have sex last night?" He asked, never leaving her eyes.

"Excuse me?" She snapped back, incredulous.

"I'm sorry, really, but you have this incredible brightness in your eyes, you know.. you could light up a whole room with them.. they call it afterglove, so I heard." He said, smiling. "I bet you are not totally satisfied though, you haven't been neither a little smug for my words and you don't seem easy to please in bed, I could-"

His words were interrupted by a sonorous slap in his face.

"You know, I'm very easy to please sometimes, Mr Jane and yes, I feel totally smug right now." She said, crossing her arms and looking at him.

 **Ok, so.. are you interested in this story? Did you like the beginning?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for your reviews, I'm really glad that you like this story and that you find it interesting!**

"Have you just slapped me?" Jane asked amused, touching his cheek.

 _Crap._ She thought absently. "I'm sorry, ok." She said, biting slightly her lower lip.

"No, you're not." He laughed in response.

"Ok, I'm not sorry I've slapped you but that was totally unprofessional and I shouldn't have! I'm not like this.. usually, I mean." She said, passing an hand through her hair; she couldn't stand his perpetual and obstinate gaze and he had perfectly noticed it. She turned herself, trying to escape from his eyes and to find a friendly face in Van Pelt when she hit accidentally a pot of flowers with her elbow making it fall on the floor and break into pieces.

"Fuck." She said out loud this time. Jane couldn't help but laugh. "Are you going to destroy everything concerning me? My cheekbone, my pot of flowers and what else, my dignity?" He asked, teasing her and pretending to be hurt. She looked at him, exasperated, for a second and then "Van Pelt!" She called, maybe with too much fervor.

"Am I making you nervous?" He asked, showing to her his brilliant smile.

"Oh, shut up!" She snapped back. Van Pelt who had been busy with the searching, more or less professional searching, around the studio finally arrived.

"Oh my God, what happened?" She asked confused.

"Nothing dear, Teresa just hit me with that pot of flowers." Jane answered, pretending to be in pain.

"Boss is it true?" She asked incredulous.

"Of course not Van Pelt, are you insane? Just bring some ice for Mr. Jane, please." She said, her level of jumpiness was probably touching the sky. "And stop laughing, for God's sake." She yelled at Jane.

"Sorry Boss." He said, mocking her. Van Pelt came back with some ice and handed it to Jane; she couldn't help but notice his handsome aspect, even in that absurd situation. She smiled shyly at him while Lisbon rolled her eyes watching the scene.

"I didn't know policewomen could be so attractive, are you a model or something?" He asked her , kissing her hand, expertly.

"Oh, you're too kind Mr. Jane!" Van Pelt replied politely.

"Ok, are we done with the telenovelas here?" Lisbon asked.

"Oh my! Already jealous, Teresa?" He realized in that moment that he had found a new passion, he simply loved to tease her.

"Call me Lisbon, please." She answered, ignoring his question.

"Ok Teresa." She rolled her eyes, another time.

While Jane was busy with the ice pack in his hand, Lisbon approached Van Pelt, being careful not to be listened; the redhead informed her Boss that everything was ok in the studio, nothing strange or out of place. It hadn't been an official search, they didn't have the warrant anyway, but with a general and attentive look around, the young agent hadn't found nothing suspicious. Besides Lisbon had had the same feeling once entered, despite the absurdity of Jane's behavior.

"Would you mind tell me why are you here?" The man in question asked. Lisbon approached him and tried to start again with a total different approach, more professional at least.

"Mr. Jane did you know Melissa Hasting?" Lisbon asked.

"Teresa, do you have any idea of how many girls enter in this building? I can't remember every single one so I honestly don't know, do you have a pic?" He said. A pic, of course, why she had forgotten about that? Frankly, she couldn't almost recognize herself. She gave him the pic, looking fleetingly at it and trying to hide that sensation of inquietude that hit her like a fist in the stomach. Jane told her she knew the girl, she was a model, one of the last new entries in his studio. Lisbon told him what had happened to her and in what she had been involved.

"She became my informant and… she found out strange exchanges right here, in this studio, before dying." She said, putting away the pic with the purpose not to look at it again, at least for a while. That pic was a reminder of her failure and she knew to be coward, doing everything to avoid it; like when you see that stubborn spider web in the corner of the wall, you know it's there but you keep trying not to look at it because if you can't see it, it doesn't exist. It's called laziness in that case; in this one, it was cowardice, fear, worse things than laziness in her diary.

"Look, I don't know what you're talking about, I'm clean, you can overturn this place right now.. my house too if you want, I have nothing to hide." He said seriously. Lisbon didn't know why but she believed him.

"We will! Thank you for your time Mr. Jane." She answered, ready to leave the place.

"I was wrong about you." He said suddenly, making her stop; she looked at him curious. "It's not the afterglow.." She was about to interrupt him but he was faster, touching slightly her arm to hold her in that place.

"that brightness in your eyes I mean.. it's something else.. it's sadness. You have sad eyes, Teresa. They seem two big pools of sorrow ready to explode." He said, looking at her and not leaving her arm. "Are you sad Teresa?" He asked finally.

"None of your business." She answered, still not moving and challenging his gaze.

"I wish they were." He said, almost in a whisper. They kept looking at each other, none of them able to find something more to add, none of them ready to end that small but intense contact though.

"Paddyyyyyy!" The atmosphere broke when a little girl, seven years or maybe more, irrupted in the studio like a little hurricane and launched herself in his arms.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" He said, hugging her and trying not to suffocate between her thousand golden curls.

"Is your girlfriend?" She asked, speaking too loudly into his ear and indicated Lisbon with her small index.

"No, she's too beautiful for me." Jane replied, smiling toward Lisbon. She rolled her eyes but couldn't repress a small smile in response.

"I like your hair." The little girl told Lisbon.

"Thanks, but yours are better." Lisbon replied. It wasn't hard to believe, looking at that waterfall of sunny curls.

"Can I look at the pics with the puppies?" Charlie asked to Jane; he smiled, then he took an album from a drawer and gave it to her. The little girl took a place on a small couch near the window; she was surely familiar with that place and Lisbon found herself curious about her role in Jane's life.

"Is your daughter?" She asked to Jane when Charlie was away.

"No." He replied, too fast and too sharply.

She looked at him surprised for that bitter answer that she wasn't expecting. "I should go now." She said.

"We'll see you soon." He said, finding his confidence again.

"I guess not." She answered.

"Well.. you show up and then you shy away but I know pretty soon you'll be walking this way." He answered absorbed.

"Is that a song?" She asked suspicious.

"Nope." He lied.

Jane was collecting the hundreds pics of puppies that Charlotte had left on the couch, on the floor and almost everywhere in the studio; it was his usual post Charlotte activity and it had become a sort of habit, a pleasant one. Charlotte occupied an important piece of his heart, the little girl lived with Sam and Pete, two friends that he had met a long time ago and that worked in the fashion business like him; they had adopted Charlie just born and he found himself unable to stay away from her and her solar soul almost immediately, besides there was this special connection between them, that sort of understanding that made him smile every time she smiled.

He wasn't surprised about it.

Speaking of smile, he hadn't forgotten that brief, almost imperceptible, moment in which Teresa had smiled; it had been just a hint, like a whisper, but he had found it overwhelming . Maybe because he was so used to see plastic and fake smiles every day that when he found a real one, he couldn't allow himself to lose it. He needed to see her again, to feel that inexplicable and total unexpected pull once again. He decided to be impulsive, a way of living that didn't really belong to him, at least not anymore; he took his phone from the pocket and made a call.

"Pete? It's Patrick, look I need a favor. I need to arrange an event, a charity event, better, and invite models and people in the fashion business, you know."

"Why?"

"That's not important why, I just need to do it and pretty soon, next week for example."

"Are you kidding me? How can I organize an event like that in few days and.."

"Thank you! I knew you wouldn't have disappointed me! Give a kiss to Sam and Charlie!"

Lisbon spent the day between working on the case and wondering what was going on in her cloudy mind. There was something that was making her distracted and pensive at the same time, sensations that she couldn't allow herself to feel, not in that painful situation. She couldn't admit, even to herself, that the meeting with Patrick Jane had upset her; it wasn't because he was incredibly handsome, it was the way he kept looking at her, like she was totally transparent to his gaze. She had had the impression to be naked in front of him, thing that didn't happen often to her, especially because she was Miss discretion and she didn't like to open up with people, with a stranger even more. _"Big pools of sorrow."_ He had said. She was annoyed by the way she had reacted in front of him, like she was totally lost, maybe because nobody had never found the time or better the will to take care of her, to understand what was happening in her secretive mind. The paradox was she didn't want nobody to do that, or maybe that had been her conviction, until two eyes, foreign eyes, big pools of mystery to quote him, had challenged her in that obstinate way, finding that truth not too hidden in her, but hard to recognize. She had a strange feeling, she felt a little addicted to that inappropriate intrusion, she needed more of it. She took Melissa's pic from her pocket and stared at it but she didn't cry. It was the moment to take her responsibilities, to be the one to solve the situation. Suddenly her phone rang and she realized she had been lost in her thoughts, an habit quite persistent lately.

"Lisbon." She replied, not recognizing the number.

"Hi, sad eyes!" Jane's voice said seductively.

"How have you found my number?" She asked a little annoyed.

"I have my ways, anyway I wouldn't be so grumpy if I were you."

"What do you want?" She asked.

"I had forgotten to tell you that there will be a party next week, an important event you know.. models, champagne and gossip.. that kind of trash, I think you could be interested in it.. for your case I mean." He said, not realizing he was almost keeping his breath, waiting for her answer.

"I am interested indeed, very interested to be honest.. look, send me the details ok? See you." She said, suddenly finding hope again.

"You're welcome, Teresa." He said sarcastically to an empty phone.

Lisbon felt the excitement that was growing inside her, she had something new, a new occasion and she couldn't waste it. Now there was only a little problem, what the hell she would have worn?

 **Next chapter: the party! The song in this chapter that has inspired me and that will come back for sure during the whole story is "Sad eyes" by Bruce Springsteen, a totally J/L song. I hope you liked this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: first of all, thank you for all your reviews, I always try to reply to every single one, thing that I will do next time, I'm so sorry for the delay, really, I usually update regularly but I've been very busy! Someone asked me if I was letting go this fic, of course not, I'll keep writing it! Hope you'll forgive me, sorry again.**

Thirty minutes later, her bed was full of dresses; she was sitting on the floor, phone in her hand, interrogating silently herself like she was reflecting about world-systems theories in her mind. She was like this, ready to face every possible and mortal threat that would have scared away every sane person , but also ready to succumb and to question everything because she couldn't find a decent dress to wear. It wasn't like she was obsessed with that kind of stuff but that event was important, at least for her case, and her actual condition led her to think she could have been believable as undercover model, a thought not triggered by some guilty presumption or by a really developed self-esteem, but rather by desperation. She kept watching the phone in her hand while her pride seemed to fight with her fingers not to make her enter his number. She couldn't go to a fashion party with a thirty dollars dress and that thought finally overcame her stubbornness.

"Miss me already?" He greeted her just after two rings.

Only three words and she wanted to end the conversation.

"Look Mr. Jane, don't make this harder than it already is, I need a favor." She said annoyed.

He chuckled in response. "Another? Teresa I'm becoming your life-saver."

"I need a dress for the party." She said out of the blue.

"A dress?" He replied surprised. "Do you know I don't have a dress shop, right?" He asked amused.

"Oh come on, you make photoshoots with hundreds of models every week, I'm sure you'll have a room full of that crap somewhere." She replied.

He had it indeed. "Well, if you consider a thousand-dollar Gucci and his friends "crap", then yes, I can help you." He heard her breath of relief through the phone and he had the confirmation that this case really mattered to her like he had suspected.

"Thank you." She said after some seconds of silence and he could recognize the sincere gratitude in her voice.

"Anything for you, Teresa." He replied without even realizing how much he meant it.

The party would have been in three days but she needed to have everything ready. She hadn't said to anyone about this event, not even to her team and her boss, a thought that made her feel guilty. She didn't know the reason of all this secrecy, she only knew it was incredibly wrong; the truth was she wanted to solve that case alone and to escape from that nightmare with her forces, maybe because she felt a sort of inexplicable possessiveness toward it, toward that maze with no exit that had slowly incorporated her life. She had found something that really mattered to her, finally, and she didn't care if it was also destroying her a little. There was also the fear of failure, another condition that had made her be silent about the party. She had just failed once, she couldn't afford the luxury to do it again. She was alone, alone against an enemy that she still needed to frame. There was only another person who knew about her desperate attempt and that person was a total stranger. Then, why she felt like she had finally found someone who could share that feeling of inadequacy that belonged to her? They say sometimes it's easier with strangers to be really who you are; she just needed to explain that persistent attraction she had felt the moment their eyes had met for the first time though.

The phone in her hand rang again, signaling that she had received two messages, the first was from Marcus, it said he missed her in his bed, probably because he was not in Sacramento until next week due to work business, the second was from Jane, he was wondering if she wore better a Gucci or a Versace. The first message annoyed her , the second made her blush, that kind of blush that made you smile a little.

She spent three days working on a different homicide , not a word about the Red Bull case that had been left in the background due to the inexistent advancements; she didn't lose time in showing to her colleagues her resentment even if she knew they were questioning about her too calm resignation. Teresa Lisbon didn't give up easily, that was the greatest quality they recognized in her and that attitude didn't belong to her. In addition to her determination, people loved the external calm with which she seemed face the world every day; that kind of calm didn't seem to have followed her the afternoon of the party though, where she found herself in front of his studio trying to collect that self-confidence that made her believable and respected in front of everyone. She was greeted by his assistant who told her Mr. Jane couldn't be there but that he had left her some indications about what she needed to do; that's why she had been led in a big room full of dresses of every kind. That walk-in closet was bigger than her actual bedroom and that thought brought an incredulous smile on her mouth. She didn't want to spend the afternoon closed in that place, wearing expensive dresses even if the thought was really appealing, so she chose one of the first dress, it was a Chanel and she almost fainted, reading the price of the garment. The price of the external beauty. When she was about to leave the studio, she heard some noises, like whispered words, coming from another room not really distant to that paradise of dresses; she didn't know if it was her detective instinct or more her childish curiosity that made her approach to that mysterious source. She was sure though that was Patrick Jane the man who was talking behind that semi-open door.

"We made different deals, don't tell me you've changed your mind now." He said worried. "I'm not ready, I don't want to fail even this, please, it's too important." Then he stopped talking and she didn't realize she was holding her breath, paralyzed on her spot. Five seconds later that semi-open door was wide open in front of her. Jane looked at her, glossy eyes and accelerated breath, for a moment they kept staring at each other, almost breathing concurrently. She noticed his bloodshot eyes and the almost frightening intensity of his gaze made her retreat and tighten the dress that she was holding like it was some kind of protection.

"I.. I think I lost my way, I heard some voices and so I thought to ask for help, sorry." She said, lowering her eyes and sounding ridiculous even to herself; She hadn't a great sense of direction but the studio wasn't exactly an impenetrable maze.

"That's ok Teresa." He said, trying to gain back his mask made by coolness and composure. "You need to take the stairs." He finished, never leaving her eyes.

"See you tonight, then." She said in one breath, almost running away.

"Teresa?" He called her when she was already at the bottom of the stairs. "You owe me a dance."

And she rediscovered his tempting smile once again.

The event was in a luxurious villa in Sacramento, one of those buildings that she had always looked from afar with the consciousness that she would have never entered in a place like that . Now, wearing a long black and glittering Chanel and with her hair in a messy but fashion braid, everything seemed possible, even despite the vertiginous heels she was wearing. It wasn't like she could claim to be a model without even reach a decent height. She spotted Jane in a black tuxedo who was talking and probably trying to seduce a beautiful girl, twenty years or a little more, one of his many flirts for sure and she picked a flute of Champagne, trying to find some liquid comfort. Some models behind her were talking animatedly and she wasn't surprise about the subject of their conversation, made by sentences like,

" _Look that son of a bitch, he's so hot."_

" _I'm still waiting for his call, that bastard."_

" _Once he made me come only with his voice."_

She hadn't had the promptness to censure her mind about the images evoked by that last statement though. She took another flute of Champagne and emptied it in one gulp.

"I never understand why they waste time, cooking all this food when none of us can actually eat it." A girl that she hadn't noticed, said to her, picking a flute from the same tray. "Hi, my name is Liz!"

"Teresa, nice to meet you." Lisbon replied.

"I've never seen you before, are you new?" She asked curious.

Like a thirty and something years model could be new.

"Actually, I work for more independents magazines, you know.."

"right." The girl said, not really convinced. "I've seen that you like Champagne too." She smiled.

"Well, a Champagne diet sounds always appealing." Lisbon replied.

"That's my diet actually." Liz said, laughing. "Or better, Champagne and these." She whispered, showing a little bottle of pills in her purse.

"Are they diet pills?" She asked innocently.

"Kind of, let's say." Liz smirked back, winking at her.

"Are they legal?" Lisbon kept asking.

"I can't believe you don't know them, girl.. every model in this place actually uses them, I'm sure."

"Where can I find them?" She asked, pretending to be interested.

"Really?" Liz replied amused, "you don't know him? It's like our lifesaver, we all love him.. it's such a good man, he helps people, he does charity.. he's also handsome and rich, the lucky combination.."

"Who is he?" She interrupted her.

"His name is.."

 _Ladies and gentleman welcome to this charity event in favor of the communities of the villages in Amazon, we are very touched by your response and.._

A big and tall man started to speak on the microphone, interrupting the conversation. At the end of the speech Liz was disappeared. Lisbon had lost her; she had been so close to know something more but that distraction had ruined everything. Suddenly the notes of a familiar song started to play, she looked toward the dance floor and she saw Jane smiling and looking at her like he was waiting for something. She rolled her eyes, she put the empty flute on the tray and then she walked toward him. They met in the middle on the dance floor and without even realizing it, she found herself in his arms like she had accepted his silent invitation. They started to dance and Jane put his right hand on her bare back, bare because the dress had a lovely low cut at the back, detail that she had discovered too late.

"I thought it would have been more difficult to convince you to dance with me." He whispered in her ear.

"You should thank the Champagne then, Mr. Jane! I'm too tipsy to say no." She replied.

"Good to know, Pocahontas." He said, toying with the ribbon of her braid. "even if you seem more one of those Irish fighters, all freckles, emeralds and pale skin." He continued, leaving the ribbon and making his fingertips dance against herskin.

"Look, I found something." She said to him, trying to temper the electricity in the air. "A girl, Liz, told me about the pills and about someone who's like a protector for them, I don't know maybe he's a drug dealer or something else.. do you have any idea?"

"No, really, I do know Liz though." He replied.

"Right, like you know every girl in this room." She said, trying not to sound annoyed.

He smiled at her, almost pleased by her comment. "Well, I could dig about it a little, but I need something in return.. I think I deserve a special thanks for this party in any case, you know." He told her.

"Of course, what is it?" She asked sarcastically.

He put his mouth dangerously near her ear, his lips almost touching her earlobe. "I want to photograph you."

"What?" She replied loudly.

"You heard me the first time, sad eyes.. a few pics and I will help you."

"Why do you want to photograph me?" She asked shyly.

"Because I fell in love with your face." He answered immediately.

She didn't know what to say so she replied with the first stupid thing passed in her mind.

"You know, I won't sleep with you, right?"

He laughed, tightening his arms around her. "Who talked about sleeping, Teresa?"

They danced in silence until the end of the song, her hands stuck on his shoulder blades, she didn't know why she felt the urge to put them under his jacket and to enjoy under her fingers the softness of his shirt impregnated by his spicy cologne.

 _I know you think you'd never be mine  
Well that's okay, baby, I don't mind  
That shy smile's sweet, that's a fact  
Go ahead, I don't mind the act  
Here you come all dressed up for a date  
Well one more step and it'll be too late  
Blue, blue ribbon in your hair  
Like you're so sure I'll be standing here._

 __She didn't know if it was the Champagne but the song they were dancing seemed strangely written for them. She shook her head, trying to gain back some common sense in her head. She hadn't asked him about their strange encounter of that afternoon and it didn't seem that he wanted to talk about it anyway; she decided to respect his discretion, maybe because she lived in discretion every single day of her life and she had learnt to appreciate that special protection. He had told her he was in love with her face, and that was it, a silly crush he had developed for her funny face; she didn't find her face interesting, but if that could help her with her case she was ready to please him.

"Jane?" She asked him the moment the song was over. "Who is behind all of this?"

He looked confused at her.

"I mean, who made this campaign for the communities in Amazon?" She continued.

He kept looking at her, surprised by her question, and then he replied.

"Thomas Volker."

 **Ok, I hope you liked this chapter, please let me know, I need your reviews and I swear Tommy Volker's presence has nothing to do with my crush on Henry Ian Cuscik.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: sorry if my updates aren't that fast lately, hope you like this chapter, it's more about their relationship than the case, I hope you don't mind it!**

"May I ask you out to dinner?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, Miss Lisbon, don't be shy now."

Teresa looked at the man in front of her; he was attractive, tall, dark long hair, a mixed bewitching accent. The first moment she had seen him though, she had immediately had the impression that something was wrong; it was the way he kept looking at her like she was a piece of meat, challenging her eyes with every word of his too prompt replies. This man was a benefactor, a lot of plates and certificates on the wall proved his loyal commitment, but his eyes betrayed him. They seemed clearer than everything that had been hung on that wall. She had tried to dig in his past a little, to learn more about his movements but she hadn't found nothing suspicious, at least for now. He stretched his arm on his desk and took her wrist, tightening it with a strength that wasn't really necessary. She tried to retreat her hand without success.

"I don't get why an attractive woman like you should be surprised by my invitation." He said, not leaving her wrist.

"Do you mind leaving my hand, right now?" She answered him, annoyed, trying to hide that hint of fear she had started to feel.

"Do you have a boring boyfriend who's waiting for you at home?" He kept asking.

She did indeed, but she was trying to ignore the fact that the moment he had asked her out, her mind had been invaded by the image of another man, very different from her actual boyfriend. A man who had been able to read between her external lies, finding her painful truth the second he had met her.

"I have to go." She said, freeing her hand.

"It has been a pleasure to meet you, Miss Lisbon!" He said.

"Likewise, Mr. Volker." She said sarcastically.

When she had left Volker's office that morning, she couldn't imagine that her day would have been even worse hours later; she had thought to have already reached a dramatic point with that brief but intense meeting. She had forgotten though, how she was doing all this secret research and investigation alone, with no one's help and most of all, with no permission. The moment her boss, Minelli, had called her with a disappointed and annoyed voice, that certainly didn't belong to him, she knew she had failed again.

"What are you doing, Teresa?" Minelli asked her, his eyes lucid like it happened sometimes when he was particularly nervous.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Virgil." She replied, sounding like a child caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

"I'm not Virgil now, I'm your Boss." He said severe. Lisbon lowered her face, she felt near to her breaking point, she could still stand another failure, she couldn't stand to hurt the people she cared about, especially when she could count them on the palm of her hand.

"Do you know Thomas Volker, Teresa?"

"Yes, heard about him." She replied.

"Well, I don't know if you know about his position in this country."

"He's a man, Virgil." She said, now annoyed.

"He is one of the most powerful men in the United States. He claims to be a good friend of the governor.. what were you trying to do, Teresa? He's a benefactor, are you insane?"

"I was working on a lead." She replied.

"A lead? I knew it and this takes me to my next question.. are you working on a case, Teresa?"

She didn't reply, choosing silence as her personal weapon. He was the only man who could make her feel that way, like a little child who had just disobeyed to her parents, she liked that feeling sometimes, it had the power to give her that sense of adolescent rebellion that she had never experimented in her tormented one. The problem was, she wasn't a teenager anymore, she was a grown woman with duties and responsibilities and it was too late to play that game.

"You're still working on the Red Bull case, am I right?" She nodded. "We left aside that case for one reason Teresa, we needed to cool down the situation, besides, we hadn't literally nothing, what were you trying to do?"

"I.. I was trying to help." She said weakly.

"You were trying to clean yourself from that sense of guilt that you're still feeling since the death of that girl, I should have known it." He finished, grabbing some documents on his desk.

"What are you doing?" she asked insecure.

"You're suspended for a week, Teresa."

"What? Are you insane?"

"Do you prefer two weeks?" He said, challenging her.

"Please, don't." She said.

"Look, I'm doing this for yourself, you're stressed, you're not thinking clear, you need to rest and relax, ask Marcus to take you somewhere, leave the city, I don't know.. just find the real you again and then come back to work; no more lies, no more secrets. Make me trust you again." He said with a hint of sweetness mixed to pain.

Lisbon took the documents and left the room without saying anything.

Spending the afternoon at home wasn't that bad as she had imagined it, also because she had basically isolated herself from the rest of the world; having a boyfriend related with your Boss though, was a different problem, especially when he had been informed of everything happened in a blink of an eye. She had ignored his first two calls, at the third she had replied. Marcus had invited her at the Spa the day after, she was about to laugh for the absurdity of the situation, also because she hated those kind of things, she hated physical contact made by strangers, those sticky oils on her body that made everything even more nauseating and she hated the idea of walking hand in hand with his boyfriend like she was the happiest woman in the world. She didn't want to see him anyway, she had dismissed his tentative to reach her at home with the lame excuse of a flu that didn't really exist. She felt selfish for the way she was treating him, she needed to leave him, but she didn't find the strength. She was free to do whatever she wanted, she kept repeating to herself, like it was a mantra. She was a free woman and she liked to think she still had this decisional power of her life, she didn't depend on anyone and she strongly believed that she was born to be alone. That was almost a certainty, especially since she had a great man on her side but she kept treating him like he was the worst in the world. When she saw the screen of her phone illuminating again, she was about to throw the object against a window, but something blocked her; it was his name, on that screen, that strangely seemed almost bigger than every previous one.

"Hey." She replied immediately after the second ring, not able to hide her excitement.

"Well, it seems you're happy to hear me, Teresa." Jane said.

"Yes." She said weakly, surprising even herself.

Some seconds of meaningful silence passed between them, then Jane talked again.

"Are you free tomorrow afternoon?" He asked casually.

"I guess I am." She said, thinking about her suspension, she was more than free actually.

"Ok, my place at five." He said.

"Wait, what? Your place? Why should I go to your place?" She replied alarmed.

"Because it's where I take my best pictures."

"Right, that." She said, sounding not really convinced.

"You promised me." He said with a very convincing voice. "I'll send you the address."

"Jane.. I'm not a model, you know it, right?"

"No, you're better. See you tomorrow Teresa." And he ended the conversation.

When she entered in his house the day after, she felt in the right place at the right time. All the thoughts about her job, Volker, the case and Marcus disappeared magically. She didn't know if it was that beautiful window in the middle of the living room with a windowsill even more gorgeous underneath, one of those that made a perfect sitting; she had always wanted one when she was little, to sit and read her favorites novels and isolate herself from the rest of the world. Or maybe the way his hair kept being messed up from the wind, or his smile the moment he had seen her. He seemed different in his house, more genuine and less unattainable somehow. When she sat on that windowsill, he started to take pics, but it wasn't like she had imagined it. They talked for hours about the silliest things, their laughs alternated by his clicks. She had tried to ignore the several times he had pointed up the beauty of a particular freckle, the way she twitched her lips, the incredible green of her eyes or how she needed to show her dimples more.

"Who has those eyes in your family? Your mom, I bet." He asked.

"Mom, yes." She said, turning her eyes toward the window.

"Ok, wrong question, I guess." He said suspicious.

"Don't worry, just.. I don't want to talk about it." She replied, trying to ignore the fact that for the first time she felt an incredible desire to talk about everything.

"You're a secretive person, I got it." He said, not pushing her.

"It's not that.. it's.. ok this could probably seem absurd but it's like I'm kind of jealous of my pain."

"Jealous of your pain?" He repeated.

"Ok I shouldn't have said it." She said immediately.

"Like no one can actually understand it and then why you should talk about it, it would seem just a way to diminish it?" Jane finished.

She turned her head, looking at him, almost speechless. "Yes." She was only able to say back.

"I totally understand it, you know.. especially since I have every minute of my private life flat-spotted on magazines." He said, lowering his photo camera to look at her.

"I feel presumptuous sometimes, thinking like this." She kept saying.

"Maybe you've never found someone who could understand your pain."

"Maybe." She said.

"I lost my wife in a car accident, almost five years ago." He said, out of the blue, putting the photo camera on the side table and reaching her on the windowsill.

"You don't need to tell me this." She said.

"I want to." He said. "I was driving, and my kid, she was two, distracted me, she didn't do anything in particular, I was just lost in her beauty, you know.. I don't really remember the dynamic in the details anyway but well, it happened."

"Charlotte?" She asked, fearing of having crossed a line.

"Charlotte." He smiled at her.

"She's your copy, you know it right?"

"I couldn't even look at her." He said, voice trembling. "I wasn't having a good time the days after the accident and.." He stopped, trying to find the words and he was surprised when he felt her small hand on his. He turned his palm and started to play with her fingers like it was the most natural thing to do.

"I've spent some time in a clinic, the sense of guilt was killing me and Charlotte didn't help, Sam and Pete took care of her and when I came back, I still wasn't ready to take her back in my life, not completely at least.. it has been a process but lately I've spent almost all my free time with her, it's addicting."

"You should tell her." She interrupted him.

"I know, I'm only scared of her reaction." He said.

"She will find out soon or later."

"Yes, especially because she's incredibly smart, like her daddy." He grinned smugly.

She laughed, enjoying his playful presumption; then she left her place and his hand in the process and took his photo camera, smiling at him.

"What are you doing?" He asked, curious.

"Strike a pose, Jane." She replied, laughing.

"No way, sad eyes, nobody can photograph me." He said, covering his face with an hand.

"Oh come on, why not? It's really unfair." She sounded like a little girl and he was enjoying the lightness of the moment.

"Come here." He said, stretching his hand toward her. He took her fingers again and led her in front of that amazing window that had taken her breath away the moment she had entered in his house. He positioned himself behind her and covered with his hands her own, busy with the photo camera. He guided every movement until she was looking in the lens. One of his hand left the camera and found her side, the other moved her hair on a side to have better access of her ear.

"This is called the golden hour Teresa, it's the best time to take pics, it's after sunrise or before sunset during which daylight is redder and softer than when the sun is higher in the sky." He whispered in her ear.

She didn't know if he was using that seductive voice deliberately or if that happened when he talked about photography in general, she just knew that with another word from him, she would have melted on the spot. "Your hands are trembling, Teresa." He said.

"Sorry if I'm not a professional photographer." She replied grumpy.

He chuckled, amused by her childish response. "Let me help you." He said, supporting her hand again.

They took several pics of the beautiful view in front of them; she wondered how many times he had done that and that thought made his attentive commitment even more precious to her eyes, especially when she felt his fingers dancing slowly on the back of her hand click after click. They watched the sunset in silence after that, words were very unnecessary, besides, the furtive looks toward each other followed by those small smiles born by the awkwardness of being discovered spoke more than everything.

"It's getting late, I should probably go." She said eventually.

He was about to find an excuse to make her stay when someone rang at his door. "PADDY, OPEN UP!" They could hear from the closed door. They both laughed for the impatience of the voice.

"I had totally forgotten about the pizza night." He explained to her, opening the door.

"Here you are, goldilocks." He said, greeting Charlotte and waving to Sam who was waiting in her car. "Thanks Sam, I'll take her home tomorrow after school."

"Hi Teresa." Charlotte said.

"Hey Charlotte, do you remember me?" Lisbon asked surprised.

"Yes, you're Paddy's girlfriend." She said, bringing a basket full of dolls in the living room. "Do you want to play with me?" Lisbon was still processing the fact that neither her or Jane had corrected Charlotte in her affirmation.

"Charlotte, leave Teresa in peace, I'm sure she has better programs for the evening." He said, eyeing her.

"Won't you stay with us to eat pizza? Please." Charlotte said with puppy eyes.

Jane amused looked at Lisbon, waiting for her answer.

"Pizza seems a great idea." She said at the end. An happy Charlotte made her choose a doll from the basket while Jane watched the scene from the couch. Lisbon and Charlotte started to play sitting on the carpet and he couldn't contain his smile anymore, especially when the kid rebuked Lisbon for a wrong matched dress. Lisbon apologized to her and looked up at him, amused.

"Thank you." He mouthed to her.

She smiled at him and kept dressing her doll.

 **I hope you're still interested in this story, let me know if you liked the chapter, thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: another update! A guest complained about my slowness to update this story, I apologize again but it's not easy when you have other things to do. Anyway, I tried my best to give you another chapter, also, have patience with Marcus, he's part of the story for now but he'll leave soon, if it's this what you want to hear. Thank you for the lovely reviews as always, enjoy!**

Patrick Jane stood up from the couch, admiring the unexpected scene in front of him; his daughter had fallen asleep with her little curly head on Lisbon's shoulder. The thing even more incredible was that Teresa was asleep too, her cheek against Charlotte's hair. The kid had insisted to watch a movie together and that had been the funny result. He smiled, looking at them, trying to ignore a different emotion that was starting to warm his chest. He couldn't allow this, he knew he would have fallen for her the second their eyes had met for the first time, especially because he had found in them the same desperation that he usually saw every time he looked at himself in the mirror. Besides, she was incredibly beautiful. Not that classic beauty that was evident to everyone, that was a boring type of beauty, at least to his eyes; Teresa was different, she had a magic beauty, not for everybody, but who could have the privilege of understand her complexity, ended up lost in it for a long time. Like she kept weaving accidentally an invisible web day after day.

He went to the kitchen to distract himself, he opened a beer just to have something else to focus on, when he heard light steps approaching him.

"I'm so sorry, I guess I fell asleep." Teresa said to him, lowering her voice not to wake Charlotte.

He turned around to look at her; hair a little messy, her right cheek, previously kept against the kid's head, lightly red, her tongue touching briefly her upper lip to underline her nervousness.

She was lovely.

"That's ok, don't worry." He replied softly. "You're finally free to go home, we kept you here long enough." He saw a hint of disappointment on her face and he wondered if he had mistaken something.

"Yes, I should go." She said, walking toward the door.

"You know this is the moment when I try to find an excuse to see you again, right?" He said, putting a smile on her face.

"The question is if that's a good idea." She replied, leaning against the open door.

"It seems great to me, actually." He said, putting a stubborn lock of hair that kept falling on her forehead, behind her ear. She lowered her eyes, made shy by the contact.

"See you soon, then." She said, fearing that her feelings would have betrayed her.

He didn't say anything back, his mind invested by several different thoughts. He didn't miss her turning to look at him for a last time before entering in the elevator though; he smiled to her in response, unable to contain his reaction. He was falling in love and he didn't want to.

That night she went home, finding Marcus who had surprised her with an homemade dinner and twelve red roses; she cried when she saw him, tears made by guilt and sorrow. He justified those tears with her fresh suspension, she didn't correct him. She couldn't stand his naivety that had made him completely silent about where she had been all afternoon until then; she couldn't stand that he hadn't said a word about her poor appetite because of the pizza she had eaten before. Then she had made sex with him, feeling like she owed him at least this, like a secret reward. The problem was that every time he had touched her, she had imagined different hands, everywhere, twined in her hair, caressing her skin; every time he had whispered sweet nothing and sexy innuendos in her ear, she had heard a different voice speaking about sunsets and golden hours. Her orgasm had been made by the train of images and whispers in her mind and nothing else.

She found a text from Jane on her phone the day after, _"Have a nice day, sleeping beauty!"_ She stared at it for a minute or two, her heartbeats accompanying the moment, but she didn't reply at the end. When Marcus left her home and went to work, she was finally alone in her apartment, thing that she loved, especially in those turbulent moments. She spent the day, and the two after, between cleaning her house, a very therapeutic activity, pretending that with Marcus everything was alright, ignoring every single text from Jane and watching TV, enjoying suddenly the small privileges of being without a job. One morning, making zapping between the channels, she found a face that she was hoping to never see again in her life. Thomas Volker, spotted on a street, in all his charm, was talking to a journalist woman about his last charity project in Amazon. She stared at him, hoping to find something strange, even if difficult during a professional interview and she was so focused on the creepy man at the center of the scene that she had almost missed the girl behind him who was patiently waiting for him and the end of his speech. Liz, the model from the party. She looked carefully at the screen to be sure that her mind wasn't playing funny games with her, but the girl was the same and Lisbon felt a little bit of hope starting to rise somewhere. The problem was that she had promised to Virgil to stay out of this story, at least her suspension had made abundantly clear that she had to stay out of it, but that was an irresistible connection. She needed to find that girl again and only one person could help her in that. The man she was trying to avoid in the last three days, Jane. She still didn't know though, that she wouldn't have been able to avoid him for long.

That night Marcus took her in a pub-restaurant near the river, one of her favorites; it was quite expensive but the music, the food and the atmosphere were amazing; besides, she didn't go out often with him, so it was nice, for a night, to enjoy the novelty. She didn't expect though, that ten minutes later Patrick Jane would have entered with a lovely skinny girl, probably a model, in the same restaurant. When their eyes met, she knew that the evening had just started.

"Teresa, lovely to see you here." Jane said, approaching her table, his eyes twinkling.

"Marcus, this is Patrick Jane, I.. I collaborated with him during a case." She explained, hoping to sound convincing and trying to hide that nervousness that made every word said, strange even to her own ears.

"Oh God, you're that photographer, right? Well, it's a pleasure, I love your early works." Marcus said, shaking his hand and genuinely excited.

"Nice to meet you, Marcus!" He said, never leaving Lisbon's eyes. "And by the way, this is my lovely company for the evening, Naomi."

"Of course." Lisbon muttered to herself. "Have a nice dinner, then." She said eventually, to cut the conversation as soon as possible.

"Wait!" Marcus intervened. "Why don't we eat all together? It would be fun."

"I don't think it's a great idea, Marcus, leave them in peace." Lisbon said, trying to stop the inevitable.

"Oh why? I think it's a very good idea at the contrary, let's eat all together." Jane said excited, winking at her.

She smiled forcedly and prepared herself for the charade that was coming.

"The famous Marcus, Teresa talked to me about you so much." Said Jane ironically, an irony that reached only her ears thankfully.

"She's a sweetheart." Marcus said proudly, kissing her temple; Lisbon was embarrassed by the contact, especially because Jane kept staring at her the whole time.

"How long have you been together?" Naomi said out of the blue, gaining a not too friendly gaze from Lisbon.

"Almost an year, right honey?" Marcus said, looking at Lisbon. She nodded, forcing a smile. Jane gulped down his glass of wine and took Naomi's hand in his , the girl almost squirmed in her chair in response.

"What about you and Patrick?" Lisbon said, looking at the model and choosing deliberately to call him Patrick. Jane looked challengingly at her, toying with Naomi's fingers.

"Well, actually it's the second time we go out together, I was so surprised when he asked me out the first time, I mean, he's a real legend between us, you know." Naomi explained amused.

"Oh hush." Jane said, flattered. "Besides, have you looked at yourself, girl?" He said, kissing her temple, mocking Marcus' previous gesture. Lisbon shook her head imperceptibly.

"Well, behind a second time, there's always a success." Marcus said, raising his glass toward them. "Besides, I don't find it strange, looking at you." He finished, looking at Naomi.

Great, now his boyfriend was complimenting Naomi in front of her, it was her turn to gulp down the glass of wine.

"She's incredibly beautiful, isn't she?" Jane said referring to Naomi, but looking at Lisbon the whole time.

"Without doubt, Patrick, you're lucky,! I'd like to have the privilege to go out with a woman who dresses like a real woman sometimes, you know." Marcus said jokingly, making fun of Lisbon.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Lisbon said, not sounding really amused.

"Well, you could wear dresses and heels sometimes, you know." Marcus answered.

"I'm ok like this." Teresa replied.

"Honey, I was kidding." He said, taking her hand. She smiled briefly and intercepted Jane's eyes that were staring deeply at her again.

The dinner went on between jokes and funny anecdotes. The only one who didn't seem to have fun was Lisbon. She had forgotten how much Patrick Jane had the power to irritate her; she felt returned to their first meeting in his studio, when she had basically slapped him in the face instead of shaking his hand, just met. Even back there though, she had felt totally caught by his eyes, or better by the intensity of them. The same intensity that kept hunting her now; every minute she could feel his presence, like he was the only man in the room, and she would have been able to lose herself in his gaze and to disappear completely.

"What about a game of pool?" Marcus suddenly said, pointing at the pool table at the end of the local.

"Why not?" Jane said, approving the choose.

Lisbon, who was just waiting the end of the evening, didn't say anything, hoping that after the game, they could finally go home and forget that dinner soon. She entered in her competitive nature soon though, showing her ability, shot after shot and trying to release a little bit of accumulated tension.

"She's a little tornado, isn't she?" Jane said to Marcus, looking admiringly at her. She didn't wear dresses or heels but she was at least the queen of the pool table.

"Oh yes, and you should see her when she loses, she becomes a little Hulk." Marcus replied, laughing. "Be feminine is not really her thing, let's say." He winked playfully toward her.

Lisbon gripped tightly the cue in her hands, she looked at the floor then, trying to compose herself and tired of the umpteenth bad joke about her poor femininity. Jane was the only one noticing her discomfort, looking at her from the opposite corner of the table; he just wanted to gather her in his arms and tell her how feminine and sensual she was to his eyes. Especially now, for the way she moved in those tight jeans around the table, trapping her lower lip between her lips, to focus on her next shot.

Lisbon was proud of herself anyway, she had managed to play cool until that moment even if the situation was quite absurd; she hadn't lost control even when Jane had deliberately brushed against her to reach his spot around the table for his next shot; she had felt the sparks born by that brief contact though.

When she thought the worst was over, the following scene happened under her eyes. Naomi after her first pocket in all the evening, launched herself in Jane's arms, kissing him soundly on the mouth. Lisbon tried to ignore the pang of jealousy she felt in that moment, but finding it quite impossible, she excused herself to go in the ladies room.

She splashed some water on her face just arrived, she couldn't believe a kiss like that could affect her in that way, especially because she shouldn't have been jealous of Jane, not with her boyfriend next to her who was caressing her back during the exact moment. She was angry with herself. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, contemplating her outfit once again. She had chosen a dark green blouse that emphasized her forms without being too adherent, she smiled sadly to her small and ridiculous attempt to be attractive. She exited from the bathroom, finding the last man he wanted to see walking toward her, Jane. She tried to ignore him and kept walking through the corridor but he blocked her path, making her flinch, until her back touched the wall behind her.

"Let me go." She said, but he trapped her on the spot, putting his hands against the same wall.

"Why you ignored me all week?" He asked, looking at her in the eyes.

"Because I didn't want to answer you." She said, pressing her hands against his chest, trying to pull him away.

"Liar." He said, searching her eyes.

"Sorry, my boyfriend is waiting for me." She tried without success, he chuckled in response.

"I can't stop thinking of you." He whispered in her ear, invading dangerously her personal space. She pretended to keep pushing him away but her fingers gripped his shirt instead, to keep him right there.

"Oh, I guess I'm not the only one in your mind, though." She replied sassy, lowering her gaze, not able to meet his eyes.

"Are you jealous?" He asked, amused. She tightened her grip on his shirt in response.

His right hand left the wall behind her and found her hipbone, pressing against it. "Just to be clear.." He whispered in her ear while his thumb started to dance slowly on her covered stomach, "You are the hottest woman in the whole restaurant, every single dress, compared to those sinful tight jeans on you, disappears completely." Said that, he kissed her hair, he looked at her for a last time and then he left the corridor, coming back into the restaurant.

She came back in the bathroom and splashed some cold water against her face, again. This time for a different reason.

 **Liked it? Next chapter will come back on the case, I promise, anyway, ten points for who guesses the movie that has inspired me for the restaurant/pool scene.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for the lovely reviews and sorry for the delay guys, longer chapter though! More case stuff in the central part but a lot of J/L interaction too, hope you like it!**

She didn't know how and why she was there, at three in the morning, under the Great flood, waiting to find the final courage to knock at his door and to finally show her deepest weakness to someone else, or at least to try to do that. The rain kept pouring unstoppable, she was soaked, but she didn't care particularly. She hadn't thought, not even for a minute, that he could see her in those conditions, messy and wet hair, smudged makeup, clothes glued to her body that made every movement even more difficult and awkward. When she knocked the first time, she didn't put a significant strength in the gesture, still not totally convinced of it. When she noticed that nobody was coming to open her, though, the second wave was stronger, insistent, a perfect mirror of her desperation. He opened the door, the typical sleepy look on his face, and stared at her, rubbing his eyes a little, almost like he thought to be hallucinated. Then he noticed her labored breath, her unusual conditions, the way she was slightly shaking and his heart broke a little.

"What are you doing here?" He asked softly to her.

She looked around, trying to find a logical reply, then she passed her trembling hand in her hair, taking time, "I screwed everything up." She said faintly. "I don't know why I'm here, I.."

"Come here." He said, almost whispering and taking her wrist, pulling her inside. She followed his trail and she moved the same hand until their fingers were perfectly interlaced.

 _Twenty hours before._

When she had woken up that morning, she felt like she had been invested by a train. She had fought with Marcus at the end of that epic dinner of the previous night, his sarcastic comments about her lack of femininity during the evening hadn't helped and they had given her another reason to keep him distant, besides, Jane's words had kept pounding in her ears during the whole moment, _" You are the hottest woman in the whole restaurant, every single dress, compared to those sinful tight jeans on you, disappears completely."_ The result was that she had kicked Marcus out of her apartment, telling him she needed space and time to think and winning in response by him a painful expression that she hadn't really expected. She needed something else to focus on, since she was without job and with the heart that kept saying strange things to her incorruptible mind. Every time she thought about the path that her life had taken lately though, the Red Bull case kept insinuating dangerously in her mind, screaming for a closure that it had never had. Strangely it was where everything had started and when she had met Patrick Jane the first time, the only ray of light in all that big cloud of darkness. She hoped she could keep those two things distant but it was impossible, it was like an inexplicable link wanted to keep them together. She took her phone and dialed his number, trying to ignore the anxiety she felt every time he was in the picture; she needed to call him for different reasons, professional ones, even if professional wasn't an adjective very accurate for her lately.

"Hello." A female voice answered to her.

"Sorry, wrong number, I guess." Lisbon said.

"Teresa? I'm Naomi, you did the right number." The girl replied with that shrill, annoying voice.

"Right, hi Naomi.. is Jane there? I need to speak with him one moment." She asked, trying to cover the disappointment in her voice.

"Yes, wait a second." Teresa waited more than a second, cursing herself and hoping not to have interrupted something intimate between them.

"Teresa?" And then his voice gave her the final strike.

"Hey." She said, almost shyly, "I hope I haven't interrupted anything." She said, regretting her words a second after.

"It's fascinating see where your mind travels when you think of me, Teresa, endearing." He teased her.

"Shut up." She replied, losing her shyness immediately. "Look, I need to speak with Liz."

"Liz?" He asked confused.

"That girl of the party, Jane.. the one who indirectly told me about Volker." She explained to him.

"Oh that one.. yes, I should have her number somewhere, among others Liz." He chuckled, irritating her.

"Well, look in your Casanova's agenda and then text me the number, please." She cut him sharply.

"Teresa?" He said, changing his tone.

"What?" She said.

"What do you want to do?" He asked worried.

"My job." She replied.

"I could come with you, you know." He said, tentatively.

"There's no need." She replied, knowing that at the contrary the only thing that she wanted in that moment was to see him.

He sighed. "Then.. be careful, ok?" He said softly.

"I will." She replied, ending the call.

That afternoon, she met Liz in a coffee near the river, a suspicious large pair of sunglasses greeted her the moment she arrived. The thing even more suspicious was that Liz hadn't forgotten her, at the contrary it had seemed like she was waiting for her call, or maybe waiting for something in general to happen. Looking at her now, she immediately realized, that she just needed help and nothing else. Lisbon didn't waste time and went to the point without preambles.

"Are you still seeing Volker?" She asked.

"Why do you care?" Liz said with a hint of fear in her voice.

"Look Liz, I'm not a model, never been, I work for the CBI and I'm interested in Volker so please tell me if you're still with him." Lisbon said.

"I don't get why you're interested in Thomas, he's a great, honest man, I can introduce him to you if you want." Liz said casually, fixing the sunglasses on her eyes.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" Lisbon asked, ignoring her words.

"I can't stand the light." Liz replied.

"Oh cut the crap." Lisbon said and leaning toward her, she removed the sunglasses from her eyes. She wasn't surprised to find a dark bruise around her right eye. She didn't want to invade her privacy like that but she was tired of waiting, she felt that the truth, or better, a small portion of it was starting to appear slowly and she didn't want to let it go. "I'm sorry." She said, finding her hand.

"I deserved it." Liz said casually, putting on the sunglasses again.

"What are you saying?" Lisbon asked, disgusted. "Is been Volker, right? Tell me."

"It wouldn't change anything." She said in response.

"Why? I can help you." Lisbon said, finding her hand again.

"Look, I know he's not perfect but.. I love him, he's an amazing lover, and besides, I deserved it.. I was overhearing a call, you know, I thought he had a lover.. silly me. Then I realized he was talking about business but it was too late, he hates when I interfere in his job, and he's right."

"What have you heard? Do you remember anything?" Lisbon asked, trying to ignore her anger.

"No." She lied.

"Liz please, this is important.. you told me once about someone who was giving you those diet pills, remember? Were you talking about him?" Lisbon asked.

"Of course not, he's not interested in those things, besides, those pills were perfectly legal."

"Stop defending him, please." Lisbon almost begged her.

"Look, I need to go now." Liz said, leaving her seat.

Lisbon grabbed her arm to keep her there. " Think about it, please and promise me to call me if you change your mind."

"I will." Liz said and then left the coffee.

Once at home, in the security of her empty apartment, Lisbon reopened the old files of The Red Bull case and Melissa Hasting's homicide, still unresolved. She needed to find something, a connection that could give her the certainty that she was moving in the right direction. She had read all those stuff a hundred times and she knew every single line by heart but she didn't want to give up. Melissa Hasting, orphan, born in Napa, a degree in journalism, found strangled in a dark road of Sacramento. She looked at the last address of the victim and her recklessness led her to go in there, considering that place her last hope. She perfectly knew that the house had been already searched and checked out, but not by her. That afternoon she had acted like never before; like a thief, looking around to see if someone was coming, forcing the lock of the house of a dead woman, looking through the books, the drawers and in the wardrobe until her desperation seemed to reach a first, small victory. She had found something, a diary, hidden between the slats of the bed; she smiled sadly, remembering how many times she had chosen that hiding place for her own secret pages. Growing up with three curious brothers had never been easy. She found out Melissa was a reporter, a fake model, just like her, some nights before in that incredible party. She was doing her own research on something completely different, about a geothermal project going on in the Amazon rainforest responsible for wiping away an entire tribe that inhabited the land, justifying the fact with the easy excuse of the drug cartel and the rebels. Lisbon knew who was the leader of that project, Thomas Volker. The great benefactor who wanted to help people less lucky than himself and that was probably using the big amount of drug found in those abandoned forests for his personal profit. It wasn't hard to believe, Lisbon had known plenty of cases about corrupted narcotics agents who kept part of the drug found during the missions, for alternative goals, but the fact that Thomas Volker, a civil, was doing all this by himself, without missing a beat and without leaving proofs of his criminal actions, was a real evidence of his unbelievable power. She took the diary with her and she was about to go home when a text from Liz asked her to meet at her house. Lisbon's hope was raising again, every piece of the puzzle started to compose in front of her. She knew that Liz was brave, and that message had been the confirmation that she was waiting. What she didn't expect though, was the spectacle that greeted her once entered in Liz's home. After one minute spent ringing the bell and knocking at the door, she had entered, finding Liz brutally hung on a beam in the wall. She didn't know which mysterious strength hadn't allowed her to cry, to fall apart in the solitude of that scenario. She had blocked, like a stone, until her professional attitude had reminded to her what she needed to do. She called Cho who was replacing her during her absence. She explained the situation, thanking for the millionth time the loyalty of his partner who hadn't asked anything about her unjustified presence on the crime scene. She was finally ready to leave the apartment when she saw him, Thomas Volker, who was staring at her from the street in front of the building. She looked at him, trying to keep a distant behavior. He reached her, stopping a few feet from her body.

"You know, this is totally your fault, Miss Lisbon?" He said, toying with a strand of her hair. She tried to reply but her voice was stuck, like a frozen block of ice. "Now, if you excuse me, the show must go on." He said, leaving her and reaching the first agents.

Lisbon spent the rest of the evening in the CBI, reporting everything she had found out, the connection with Volker and The Red Bull case, sounding like a robot, even to herself. Minelli wasn't proud of her behavior but he knew that it wasn't the moment to punish her again, she was a step from the chasm and he cared about her too much to let her go. He decided to reintegrate her in the case and her smile of gratitude told him he had made the right choice.

Every time she had tried to close her eyes that night, she had seen the same scene repeated behind her eyelids. Sometimes there was Liz hung on that wall, sometimes Melissa, other times, the scariest ones, there was herself. She looked out of the window, the rain was pouring unstoppable, every drop of rain could perfectly be the tear still locked in her eyes that didn't want to fall. She checked her phone, finding four missed calls from Jane and her heart started to do that strange dance it did every time she saw his name. She knew she needed solace, a pair of arms around her, some shooting words in her ear, but most of all, she knew which pair of arms she wanted, which voice she craved. That's why her following actions were totally hurried, unplanned and full of primary instinct, but now, in his apartment, with her hand interlaced in his own, she knew, for once, that there was no place she preferred to be.

"Stay here." He said, pointing to the stool behind her, "I'm going to grab a towel and some dry clothes."

She smiled at him and sat on the stool, impatiently, almost not standing his temporary absence.

"Change in these, I won't peek, I promise." He said, handing her a t-shirt and some pajama pants, "I'll make some tea in the meantime." She nodded, thanking him silently, then once he was busy with the tea, she removed her jeans first, stuck on her body like glue and then, worn his pants, she started to unbutton her soaked shirt, but her trembling hands seemed to make the action almost impossible. She took a breath and tried again, releasing finally the first button but when the trembling returned, she snorted annoyed.

"What's wrong?" He asked from the kitchen. When she didn't reply, he turned slowly, breaking his promise, to see the reason behind her impatience and his heart melted a little more, seeing her fingers dueling with her shirt. He was at her side immediately. He took her fingers, stopping her movements.

"Let me help you." He said, and he was surprised not to see a reaction from her. He started to unbutton her shirt, delicately, never leaving her eyes. He didn't want to embarrass her or to turn that gesture in a seduction act but he couldn't help but caressing slowly her skin with his knuckles in the process. Once he had finished with the buttons, he removed her shirt, careful not to lower his gaze always stuck on her face.

"Raise your arms." He said softly to her. She did what he had asked, totally caught by his voice and his unexpected sweetness and he put his t-shirt on her, missing immediately her eyes, the moment they had been hidden by the cloth.

"Better?" He asked, lingering a little on her sides before leaving her body.

"Thank you." She replied, finding her voice for the first time since she had entered in his house.

He sat on the stool in front of her, waiting for a signal by her but then decided to take the matter in his hands. "Teresa, what's happened?"

"Liz died." She said sharply.

"What?" Jane asked.

"She died, because of me." She replied with the same coldness. He stood from the stool and reached her with the intention of gathering her in his arms but when she understood his aim, she retreated immediately. "Don't.. look, I shouldn't be here."

He shook his head impatiently, "you know, your stubbornness and your pride are starting to be really annoying, Teresa.. drop the act, stop with this super hero attitude that you've built on yourself and be human for once in your life! You came here at three in the morning and you and I perfectly know why.. there's nothing bad in being weak sometimes, it's genuine, real.. I'm tired of fake smiles, fake acts and lies, I want something real, show me who you are, show me your weakness, your dark parts and cry for God's sake, those sad eyes are ready to explode since the moment I saw you."

They stared at each other for several seconds after his speech, both a little upset, breath accelerated and perfectly in sync until, like they were dueling in a battle, she totally surrendered to him and launched herself in his arms. He gathered her tiny trembling body, hiding her face in his neck and he was almost surprised when with a small push, she circled his waist with her legs, embracing him totally. He helped her movements, totally at her mercy, charmed by her fragility. When he heard the first tear leaving her eyes, he smiled softly, realizing that finally her façade was starting to crumble. He didn't expect though that her shy tears would have turned quickly in a heartbreaking lament that almost brought tears in his own eyes.

"Hey, it's ok, I got you." He whispered, caressing her hair and kissing her forehead alternately. He reached his couch, still tangled with her and sat on it, keeping the same position. He tried to calm her until her desperate lament turned slowly in the same initial small tears and those tears became elaborated breaths. They spent a lot of time like that, he didn't know how much, until he noticed that she had fallen asleep, exhausted from the unexpected outburst and the infernal day. He kept caressing her though and kissing the small attainable parts of her face until, won by the tiredness, surrounded by her warmth and lulled by her breath, he fell asleep too.

 **I hope you liked it, let me know.**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: New chapter, a fluffy one, sorry in advance.**

She woke up at the first shy appearance of the dawn, finding herself in his reassuring arms that hadn't lost their grip during the night, neither diminished their stubborn intensity around her. She couldn't feel her knees, still totally asleep and numb due to her position. She tried to ignore the awkwardness of the moment in which her brain registered that a certain part of her body was totally in contact with the low part of his body; she also tried to ignore the fact that she could feel the physical effect that their intimate embrace had provoked in him. It was too much, too intimate, but too irresistible at the same time. She looked at him, feeling the same sensation she had felt days ago, always in his house, he seemed less unattainable, less forbidden, more concrete in front of her eyes. When she tried to separate herself from his grip, she heard him complaining incoherently in his sleep and that involuntary action made her smile for the first time that day. She debated for one precious minute between leaving his house in that exact moment or trying to find some coffee in his kitchen, waiting for him to wake up; she wasn't surprised when the temptation of the second option won without many brain washings in her head. She wandered in his kitchen, loving that intrusion in his ordinary world and her eyes intercepted a drawing hung on the fridge. It was a drawing of a man, thick and blonde hair with a little girl with the same curls. She smiled for a second time, caressing it and feeling a little bit selfish for having overwhelmed him with her big demons the night before, forgetting how much pain he had already experimented in his harsh life. Maybe they could have shared their dark parts and find happiness together one day and the absurdity of that thought put another smile, the third one, on her face.

"It's good to see you smile." Jane said from the kitchen's counter.

"You know, it's a little creepy staring like that, besides, you've scared the hell out of me." She replied jokingly, turning toward him.

"You know, it's a little rude abandoning a man with whom you have slept all the night, like that." He teased her.

"We haven't slept together." She said, ignoring the crazy beating of her heart.

"Technically yes, Teresa." He replied, approaching her.

She shook her head, smiling and leaning against the cold surface of the refrigerator; he stopped in front of her, ponding her gaze.

"How do you feel?" He asked kindly, massaging her right shoulder, finding a way to touch her without being too intrusive.

"Better." She replied, not really convinced.

"Do you want to talk?" He said, continuing his massage toward her neck.

"No, I don't want to talk." She replied, lowering her gaze, made shy by his proximity.

"Ok, I should take you ho—"

"Take me somewhere." She said abruptly, interrupting him.

"Somewhere?" He asked surprised.

"Someplace nice." She said and he couldn't contain his smile.

She stopped at home for a change of clothes and a quick shower while he was waiting for her in the car, thing that made everything even more absurd to her eyes. She didn't have time to put some makeup or to wash her hair, made visibly wavy by the humidity and the rain of the previous night, she wasn't exactly impeccable in her look, but she didn't care particularly. She did everything in a rush, without thinking too much about what was happening because she knew that her rationality would have put an end to her prompt fugue immediately. She didn't want to be rational, not that day at least; besides, she didn't remember when it was the last time she had spent an unconventional Sunday. Marcus was a lazy type and she really couldn't blame him when he preferred to spend his free time sprawled on the couch between books and movies. She was more like him actually, she shared the same necessity. The man who was waiting patiently outside her apartment though, was different; he had entered like a tornado in her life, without asking for permission, overturning everything. She couldn't picture him like a lazy man, he had traveled around the world, his photo camera always at his side, to catch colors, sounds, details, always looking for something new and unforgettable and she desperately needed to be overwhelmed by him and his wandering. When she saw his smile the moment she entered in his car, she knew she had just reached the point of no return.

"You smell good." He said casually.

"Where do we go?" She asked, ignoring the compliment that had already colored her pale cheeks.

"Nothing big, don't worry, I don't have a private jet hidden anywhere." He replied, chuckling.

"No Paris, then?" She asked, pretending to be disappointed.

"You're such a romantic, aren't you?" He asked, amused.

"No way."

"Oh no, you are, just not in a conventional way, I bet."

"What do you mean?" She asked curious.

"You like original and unconventional romantic gestures, so hard to satisfy, Teresa." He said seductively.

She hit his arm playfully, increasing his grin even more.

"Then, a brunch on the hills between rows of grapevines and hot-air balloons is unconventional enough for you?" He asked casually, a small hint of anxiety in his voice.

"Hot-air balloons?" She asked with glittering eyes. "We're going to Napa?"

"Yes.. I know, it's nothing big but.."

"I love it, thank you." She interrupted him, touching his arm lightly. They smiled at each other until he could see a small but stubborn cloud of distress covering her eyes.

"Don't think about it, ok? Enjoy this day, then tomorrow, you'll come back at work and you'll deal with everything happened yesterday.. besides, it wasn't your fault, I don't really know the dynamics of the story but it's the only thing I am sure about, ok?" He said to her.

"Are you a mind reader?" She asked, a mix of amusement and anxiety in her voice.

"No, but you're transparent, my dear." He replied.

"Just what a girl wants to hear." She said, a little bit annoyed.

"Who said being transparent is a negative thing? It has a double meaning actually, think about it, you can be transparent and reveal everything in your mind or you can be so transparent that nobody can actually see you.. but don't worry dear, I'm an attentive observer." He said in a patronizing voice.

"And I'm such a lucky girl." She retorted, mocking him.

They reached a lovely cabin restaurant at top of the hills, she spent the time of the walk looking with childish wonder the colorful balloons in the air and cursing every bees or insects that dared to approach her. He spent the time just looking at her, noticing how the sun had already put a lovely pink shade on her cheeks and how the breeze kept messing up her hair in the air. He found her even more beautiful without makeup, her eyes seemed more pure and more honest somehow. They ordered a fruit salad, some eggs and a bottle of wine, ignoring the inappropriate hour and falling into temptation, besides, it was almost profane go in Napa without enjoying a good bottle of wine, or maybe two.

"Can I ask you something?" He said, pouring more wine in her almost empty glass.

"Oh God, do I need to mentally prepare myself?" She asked, taking a sip of wine.

He laughed in response causing her the same incoherent laughter, made even more exhilarant by the wine.

"Maybe, actually." He said, gaining back some seriousness. "Why don't you leave him?" He asked finally.

"Wow, I didn't expect this." She replied, toying with the rim of her glass. "Marcus is a good man, I need a good man next to me and I found him, why should I leave him? It's so hard to find a good, decent man."

"You don't love him." He said as a statement.

"Even better." She replied.

"Why?" He asked again.

"I know how love can destroy you, ok? I've seen it in front of my eyes.. my parents loved each other with all themselves, I had a beautiful family, me and my three brothers, one of those families you can see in the commercials, you know.. then one day, my mother died and the castle collapsed. No more happy family, no more joyful breakfasts all together around the wooden table." She said casually.

"What about your dad?" He asked tentatively.

"He killed himself." She replied immediately.

He sighed, unable to bear even for a minute how much pain she had to carry inside her. He took her hand, not wanting to add words of comfort to her spontaneous outburst. "You're running away from love, I got it and.. I can't really judge you, I tend to do the same actually, or at least I tried to do that, now I don't think I'm able to do it anymore." He said, finding her shy eyes.

"Really?" She asked, toying with his fingers.

"Really." He echoed her, bringing her small hand near his lips and kissing it.

"You know what's the funny thing?" She asked, trying to break the tension. "the real reason why I don't leave him it's because I do want a family sooner or later, this is the truth and I never admitted it even to myself until now."

"You want a family but with a man that you don't love." He said, no judgement in his voice.

"It's a little bit incoherent, I know." She said, gulping down the rest of the wine in the glass.

"Just a little bit." He said amused and they started to laugh hysterically until little tears reached their eyes.

"Come with me." He said then, leaving his seat.

"I don't know if I'm able to stand up after all this wine, honestly." She replied, still laughing.

"Take my hand." He said, not feeling very stable too. "We need to reach that wooden hut right there." He finished his sentence, pointing the end of the pathway.

"What's in there?" She asked, taking his hand.

"Surprise." He whispered.

When they reached the hut, after a little climb made almost impossible by their precarious conditions and the fact that he kept finding new ways to casually touch her, she realized what they were about to do.

"Jane, are we really about to do a balloon ride?" She asked insecure.

"Of course dear." He replied, smiling.

"Oh my God."

"What?"

"Jane, I don't know if I trust those flying things." She said perplexed.

"Well, do you trust me?" He asked hopefully.

"Maybe?" She said, sounding even more perplexed.

"Great!" He said, grinning enthusiastically.

She waited for him in front of the starting platform, trying to hide her evident fear but excited anyway. He had booked a private ride, just for them and the pilot and she just hoped to be able to keep the distance from him again, a feat that seemed always more difficult minute after minute. When they left the ground and the balloon started to rise slowly, she gripped with strength the railing of the wicker basket, cursing herself a little and regretting her choice immediately. Then she felt his arm around her from behind and his cheek resting delicately at the side of her head.

"It's the first time for me, you know, I've never done it before, it's destabilizing, a little and the wine doesn't help." She said to him.

"It's the first time for me too." He told her, chuckling for her previous comment.

"What? Really?" She asked him.

"Why? Are you surprised?" He asked her in turn.

" Yes.. I mean, no.. it's just, you seem that kind of man that has already done basically everything in his life.. I mean the cool stuff, at least! It's silly, I know!" She tried to explain.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you my dear, but we still have a lot of first times that we can share together." He said, realizing too late the double meaning in his words. He felt her stiffen under his arm, knowing that his words had upset her a little and realizing that she was still dueling with the new experience of being carried in the air . "Breathe Teresa." He said in her ear, making her shiver further. Once she got used to the height, she relaxed slowly, enjoying the amazing view in front of her

"It's magic." She whispered, leaning against him, he put his other arm around her, embracing her completely.

"Do you like it?" He asked and she could feel his smile caressing her ear.

"Yes, it's not conventionally romantic." She teased him. He kissed her temple, amused and then he lingered with his lips on her skin, sending shivers in all her body.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now." He whispered in her ear.

"You can't." she said, turning a little toward him and kissing his chin lightly, contradicting her words.

"Just once." He said, interlacing his fingers in her hair and kissing the corner of her mouth.

"we can't." She repeated, trying to convince also herself but kissing the same spot near his lips in response.

He kissed her lips then, a brief contact that overwhelmed her anyway. He pecked her lips a second time, a third one, lengthening the kiss a little more each time. They were small innocent kisses but she had never been so turned on before. He stopped then, noticing that the situation was starting to get out of hand and not wanting to put her in an even more uncomfortable position.

"Let's go home, sweetheart." He said and she thanked him silently.

She didn't remember a lot about the return at home, she fell asleep in the car almost immediately, thanks to the wine and the crazy previous night, besides, she felt more secure in her sleep, less exposed to his gaze, his questions, his touch. She had lowered her barriers too much that day and the negative effects of that little whim were starting to arise in her mind. She woke up almost arrived to her apartment, apologizing for the lack of companionship but he didn't mind, he had a strange light in his eyes that she couldn't really decipher, was it happiness? She didn't know it but she knew that she owed him at least something more. That's why, once stopped in front of her condo, she told him everything about the day before, about her meeting with Liz, about her illegal intrusion in Melissa Hasting's house, Liz's atrocious death and then Volker. He listened carefully, in silence, never interrupting her detailed story.

"I want to help you." He told her at the end.

"You can't help me, Jane." She said softly.

"He's dangerous, you need to be careful." He kept saying.

"I'm a cop, a good one I believe." She said, trying to lighten the tension.

"Please, let me help you." He tried again.

"Why do you want to help me?" She asked, weirded by his stubbornness.

He stayed in silence for a few seconds, trying to find the rights words and then, eventually, he replied:

"I.. I don't wanna lose you." He almost whispered.

she stared at him in response, a mix of fear and something else in her eyes, something he couldn't really decipher.

"Thank you for today." She replied, changing the subject and leaning toward him to kiss his cheek. Then she left his car, leaving him confused, a confusion that only her could give him. He watched her fighting with her bag looking for the keys and then he exited the car in turn, approaching her door. He took her hand, making her turn toward him and scaring her a little in the process.

"Just so you know, I won't give up on you, put it in your pretty head, I won't." He said, looking in her eyes, almost challenging her. "Sweet dreams Teresa." He said eventually, squeezing her hand a last time, then he returned in his car, leaving her motionless in front of the door.

After some uncertain seconds she took her phone and wrote a text to Marcus:

 _we need to talk._

She stared at the send button, then she decided what to do.

 **AN: yes, a little cliff! So, I have to say I was a little demotivated by the small response to the previous chapter, I just want to know if you're still interested in this fic or maybe I should finish it! Anyway, thank you for the lovely reviews and I hope you liked the chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: First of all, thank you for all your lovely reviews, really, they warmed my heart and made me type faster so here we are, next chapter, hope you enjoy it but remember, after a fluffy chapter, it's time to a little bit of angst.**

She had pressed the send button at the end, not entirely enthusiastic about her choice, though. She wasn't confused, that wasn't the problem, the problem was that , at the contrary, she was perfectly sure, for once in her life, about her deepest feelings inside her and that was totally destabilizing. She wasn't a coward, never been, she had always faced tragedies and sufferings with her head held high, never running away, collecting the pieces of her tormented heart, alone, in the security of her solitude. She had never dealt with happiness before though, that kind of happiness that made you feel almost empty, light, raised in the sky on a wicker basket between clouds made by whipped cream. The truth was, she had never dealt with love, it scared her, deeply, that's why she was trying to ignore it, to postpone it, to cover it with sand, trying to resist to its incredible push. Marcus had helped her to do that, to keep love away, having actually an excuse to hide herself behind that deceit. She knew now that, with that message, everything would have changed, she wished she could have been brave enough in happiness as she was in pain. She felt his car arriving in front of her condo, panic starting to rise further, then she took a breath, ready to face the unavoidable.

"Hi honey." He greeted her, just entered in her condo, then he kissed her softly on the lips and that kiss annoyed her, childishly, because she still wanted to feel the memory of Jane's lips on her mouth instead.

"Hey." She answered back.

"You look good, have you sunbathed or something?" Marcus asked, scanning her face.

"I went for a run, sunny day." She replied automatically. "We need to talk." She said eventually.

"Oh yes, we do, indeed, let me start, ok?" Marcus said, a strange electricity in his eyes that she couldn't understand.

"Actually, I think it's better if I—"

"Marry me." He said abruptly, cutting her off.

"What?" She asked, her weak voice a perfect mirror of her internal anxiety.

He smiled like a kid the day of Christmas, then he took her hands in his, "Look, I've never been the perfect boyfriend, I know .. these days, away from you, have been a living hell, literally, but they also helped me to realize that it's you, it's always been you and you will always be the only one and ..I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He knelt in front of her, taking something that she suspected was a ring from his pocket.

"Marcus, please." She tried to stop him.

"Teresa Lisbon, will you marry me?" He asked, glittering eyes, handing the ring to her.

She looked at the jewel, noting that she didn't like it, it had rubies that seemed small pools of blood; like that was the real problem anyway.

"Teresa?" Marcus called her, still on his knees.

Then she was stupid enough to find a new excuse to take time again, to postpone everything.

"I need to think about it, ok?" She replied, smiling forcedly at him.

"I knew it." He said, standing up, a genuine smile on his face, he wasn't even angry or disappointed, like he was expecting that answer. "Take your time honey, I know it's hard for you but I'm sure you'll make the right choice at the end." He said, winking at her.

"Are you in for a movie? Make some pop corns." He said to her from the living room, not realizing she was still motionless in front of the door.

"Ok." She replied, hiding herself in the kitchen while her breathes were becoming always more elaborated. She took a glass of water to calm herself, she could feel the noises from the TV and Marcus' laughter in the background and her eyes suddenly started to become heavy, glossy. Her phone buzzed and she was almost scared to open the incoming text.

 _Run away with me on that hot-air balloon, I miss you already._

She turned off her phone and started to cry.

Jane smiled, looking at the text he had just sent to her. He felt like a teenager facing his first crush, that woman was ruining him.

"Paddy, the ice-cream?" Charlotte called him from the couch.

"Coming." He hollered from the kitchen.

"Here you are, double chocolate and strawberry, as you like." He said, handing the bowl to her. Charlotte started to eat quickly and he just observed her, admiringly. "Charlie, do you remember Teresa?" He asked her, eventually.

"Of course, she played with my dolls." Charlotte explained to him and that comment made him chuckle.

"Do you like her?" He asked her then, almost shyly.

"Yes, I like her, she's your friend." She replied logically.

"Would you like her, even if she wasn't my friend?" He asked again.

"Yes, she has princess hair." She said.

"That's true." He said, dreamy.

"How much do you like her, from zero to twenty?" He continued his investigation.

"Thirty!" She said enthusiastically. "And you?" Charlotte asked him.

"What?"

"How much do you like her, from zero to one hundred thousand?" She asked, waving her spoon in the air.

"two hundred thousand." He replied, smiling.

"You like her a lot, then." She said satisfied.

"I do, indeed." He replied, staring hopefully at his phone.

She decided it was better to focus on her job, since she had made progress two days before, the hardest part was that one thing was to actually investigate the responsible of a crime, another thing was to have him there, in front of your eyes, without being able to do anything to put him behind bars. Minelli had patiently listened to her story that morning, once again, but he couldn't pretend that her sensations and some diary's pages of a dead reporter could be enough to condemn a man that seemed the epitome of a living hero. The only thing that she could gain was the promise for an official warrant to search the Volker corporation, hoping to find something meaningful, even if her hopes were really low, considering the smartness and the cunning of the man in question. She realized soon though, that that little but dangerous hunt for Tommy Volker was starting to thrill her in some unexpected way. She wanted to chase that man and make him pay in some brutal ways that she had never thought about before. Besides, that diversion kept her away from other different thoughts, a marriage proposal, plenty of ignored messages and calls from another man on her phone, a grapes' basket she had found on her desk on Monday morning and the fact that she had called Jane, anonymously, Tuesday at four in the morning only to hear his sleepy voice some seconds through the phone and then ended the call immediately. She also checked different tabloids and gossip sites once a day to see if he had been spotted with some new models or impossibly beautiful women but she had never found anything new. She had never met love before, but if those were the its effects , she was totally screwed.

She went to search in Volker corporation on Wednesday, gain the permission for the warrant had been a little feat, that man seemed really untouchable but maybe some days off had been good, to cool things down a little and to give him the impression that he wasn't at the center of their interest, not anymore. Once arrived in the building with Cho, she felt immediately that something was wrong; the place was too calm, immaculate, nothing out of the place. She fought for some precious moments with the secretary at the hall and in the end she took the situation in her hands, ignoring her protests and going herself in Volker's office. The man was there, waiting for her, a glass of red wine in his hand.

"Miss Lisbon, what a pleasure, I was starting to miss you." He said, staring at her from head to toes. "Want a glass of wine? It's delicious, from Napa Valley, if I remember correctly." He said mischievously, emphasizing the place of origin in a way that she hadn't liked. Was it a coincidence, right? She didn't know it and she also didn't know if she wanted to find out about it. The memories of that day were too precious to be corrupted in every possible way, she kept telling herself that ,in that day, she had probably met love, the real one, for the first time and the fact that they had been lost between colorful hills and dancing hot-air balloons in the sky, made everything even more magic, like it had been a living dream only in her mind.

"You seem distracted, Miss Lisbon, hard week?" He asked her again.

"I'm perfectly fine, Mr. Volker, now excuse me but I should search your office." She said coldly.

"Oh, I find it hard to believe." He challenged her.

"I have a warrant, now back off." She said, handing the warrant to him.

"So feisty, I love it, do you want to search me, too?" He said seductively.

"In your dreams." She replied, before managing to censure herself.

"Oh yes, you got me, I dream about you Teresa, quite often lately, I have to say.. do you want to know about these dreams?" He kept saying in the same seductive voice.

"No thanks." She replied, busied in emptying drawers in a not very delicate way.

"I dream about you seducing me, ordering me to pleasure you, to do whatever you want me to do with that Glock pointed on me and those fierce eyes that never leave me. It's so exciting, I'm excited now, thinking about it." He said, sprawled on his armchair.

"You're sick." She replied, approaching the last cabinet, hoping to find something.

"Have dinner with me." He said again.

She sighed frustrated, ignoring him, she hadn't found anything, neither the smallest clue and if she had been alone in that moment she would have probably destroyed his office and screamed until dawn, but she needed to stay calm and to play it cool, especially in front of him. She was trying to steady herself when she didn't realize that he had left his place on the chair and was now behind her, impossibly close. She felt him inhaling deeply her hair and that gesture made her push him away but he was faster, pinning her to the wall behind her. He trapped one of her leg between his two and he brushed against it, causing her to close her eyes in disgust, then he leaned toward her, finding her ear and biting her earlobe, not too lightly. "You need to stop this ridiculous hunt right now, Agent, or this will get out of hand soon." He whispered in her ear. When she tried to get rid of him again, he kept her pressed against the wall some seconds more. "I will make you suffer, you and people you care about or maybe, should I say the only one you care about?" And after this last statement, he bit roughly on the juncture between her neck and shoulder and then he let her go.

That night she just wanted to go home, overeat some junk food that she would have regretted an hour later and overdrink any kind of drink with some alcohol in it. Marcus had been sent in San Francisco that weekend for a conference and he had asked her if she wanted to go with him and visit the city a little; she had refused the invitation, blaming the job and this time it hadn't been a lie, not totally at least. She thought about Volker's words that she could still hear vivid in her ears, she couldn't pretend she hadn't caught that last reference _"the only one you care about."_ Was he talking about Jane? It couldn't be, unless he was following her or something, thing that couldn't be hard to believe, considering his creepy tendencies. Or maybe, he was just talking about Marcus, she had never hung posters about her love story around the city, but their relationship wasn't exactly a secret. Coming back home, she decided to stop in a supermarket, not really near her apartment, but very assorted, especially in the Mexican cuisine and she would have killed for some Guacamole sauce and Tequila that night. She was walking through the compartments, lost in her thoughts, when she didn't realize he was in front of her, comparing two packs of bread for Hamburgers in his hands. Her heart started to beat in a way she didn't think it was possible while she tried to figure out what was the best thing to do. If she had followed her mind, she would have hidden herself, becoming one with the shelves and running away from the supermarket like a crazy person, taking the guacamole with her, though. If she had followed her heart instead, she would have walked toward him, grabbed the lapel of his grey sexy shirt and kissed him senseless, without saying a word; they would have made love near the pickles' jars too, without problems. She opted for a middle way in the end.

"Jane." She said, approaching him.

He looked at her, making fall one pack of bread from his hand. "Hey." He said, trying to hide how pleased he was to see her.

"Hamburger's night?" She asked, pointing at the bread.

"Yeah, Charlotte is coming over tonight." He replied, never leaving her eyes.

"She's lucky to have you." She said softly.

He shook his head in response, "why are you acting like this?" He asked her, approaching her.

"Jane, please." She said, lowering her voice.

"You keep ignoring me since Sunday, why? You're making me crazy here, Teresa." He said sweetly now, cupping her cheek and stroking it lightly. She abandoned herself to his touch, putting her own hand on top of his and caressing it.

"It's not easy, I need to think about it." She tried to justify herself.

"There's nothing to think about." He answered back, starting to become mad. "You think you're the only one to be scared here? I already lost the woman I loved once, I should be the one to be scared for God's sake." He said impatiently, removing the hand from her face.

"I'm sorry." She said, unable to say something else and upset by his words. He looked at her, exasperated, losing himself in her beauty for some seconds, noticing that her face was still a little bit rosy from the sun, her hair was straighter, less wild and more professional, not messed up by the wind at least. She wore a cream blouse that married her porcelain skin perfectly and he noticed how the first three buttons were loosened and he just wandered about how would have been irresistible unfasten the rest of them, a privilege that he had already experimented once. He was about to end his mental trip when he noticed something disturbing that ruined her pale complexion; it was a red mark between her neck and shoulder, it seemed a love bite, a ferocious one and he couldn't contain his jealousy.

"What's that?" He asked coldly, touching her skin in that point.

"Nothing." She replied too fast, trying to cover it and cursing herself in her mind because she had totally forgotten about it.

"Did Marcus do that to you?" He asked again, his fingers still pressed on it like he was trying to erase it.

"No." She said, breaking the eye contact.

"Who did it, Teresa?" He asked, not really convinced.

"No one." She replied.

"I'm not stupid." He said impatiently.

"Volker did it." She said abruptly, regretting her confession almost immediately.

"Are you kidding, right?" He asked, trying to calm himself.

"I met him this morning for an official search, things didn't go exactly like I had planned." She explained.

"I hope you've talked about it with someone , acting reasonable for once." He said, getting mad, minute after minute.

"No need, look I can defend myself." She replied a little bit annoyed.

"Oh I see, you allowed that son of a bitch to bite you but you can defend yourself, of course." He said sarcastically. "Maybe you're not as good as you think you are, after all." He added at the end, blinded by his madness.

"Screw you, Jane." She said, leaving him alone in the center of the compartments.

She arrived in front of the condo, still nervous for their encounter, she knew he was only worried for her, she knew his madness had spoken those words instead of him but she also knew that everything coming from his mouth had the power to affect her like it had never happened before, no matter what. She checked her letterbox, finding a yellow envelope, she extracted it while her phone started to ring. She saw his name on the display and she decided to stop ignoring him, for once.

"What do you want, Jane?" She asked, trying to open the envelope with one hand.

"I'm coming to your place." He said.

"Why?" She asked, almost succeeding in her feat.

"Because I can't stand the thought of you being mad at me." He said softly.

She smiled, stopping her actions, melted by his sweetness. "I'm not really mad at you."

"Well, I'll come anyway." He replied.

"You have the hamburger's night, remember?" She told him.

"Yes, that's why I'll pick you up and you'll come with me, you love hamburgers, Teresa and Charlie basically adores you." He said, trying to sound convincing. "You can take the guacamole sauce with you if you want." He added, making her chuckle in response.

"I'll wait for you, then." She said at the end.

When she ended the call, her mood had changed in less than five minutes, and she took time to focus on the mysterious envelope. She opened it, finding some pics. She looked at them and her smile turned quickly in a grimace of horror. There were Jane and Charlotte in those pics, her pretty face in a red circle. A warning that she didn't really expect. She needed to stay away from him, starting right in that moment. She took her phone and texted him immediately, _I have to take a rain check, not feeling well, I'm sorry._

She just hoped his stubbornness wouldn't have won even this time.

 **Please don't hate me, I know this is a little bit of a roller coaster but I promise things will be good soon, I hope you like it, let me know, I need your reviews to keep going, thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews guys, they meant the world! Fast update about that night spent together. Enjoy it!**

 _8 PM, panic_

While she was praying that his stubbornness wouldn't have won once again, she wandered around her apartment, hoping her presentiments were wrong. She searched for secret cameras, microphones, anything that could give her the confirmation of her worst fear, that someone was spying her in the security of her apartment, her personal shelter. She overturned everything with rage, determination, almost enjoying the alternative outburst, messing up her rational order, like she was doing with her personal life. She didn't find anything in the end but that revelation didn't diminish that sense of panic that was eating her slowly inside, since the moment she had opened that envelope just after have heard his reassuring voice through the phone. She loved Jane's voice, maybe that was one of the things she actually loved the most about him. His voice had the power to give her hope, in everything, and she was totally hypnotized by its infinite peace. Every time he had whispered something in her ear, she had felt hopeful again, she had felt that maybe happiness was really there, around the corner, waiting for her; his voice was like a call, an irresistible one and she just wanted to be pulled under by it; especially now, crouched on the carpet, between books, pillows and everything her reckless search had messed up. When the panic was starting to slow its grip on her, she felt someone knocking at her door and the first thing that she did was, despite everything, smile. She opened the door, finding him in front of her, an amusing and exasperated light in his eyes and she sighed in response, taking his hand and pulling him inside.

 _8.30 PM, stubbornness_

"Pretend to not feel well to ditch someone, really Teresa? That's a little bit unfair, don't you think?" He said, once entered.

"I wasn't pretending." She replied, lowering her gaze and putting her arms behind her, looking like a schoolgirl just been caught.

"Liar." He said, enjoying her childish attempt.

"Why are you here, anyway?" She asked.

"Oh right, I'm here to pick you up and take you to my apartment where an incredible hamburger, the best in the whole world, because cooked by me, is waiting for you." He explained seriously.

"I'm not hungry." She tried to say, not really convincing.

"Please, I can hear you stomach grumbling from here." He said, amused.

"Really?" she asked, worried.

"No, I was kidding." He said, grinning at her.

"I hate you." She said, sounding even more childish.

"I hate you too." He replied, playing the same game.

"Why are you so stubborn?" She asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied.

"Why you keep insisting like this?" She asked again, a hint of exasperation in her voice.

"Because.." He started to say insecure, "because I've never wanted anyone so much in my whole life." He finished, staring deeply at her. She didn't know what to say but she was sure that her eyes had replied for her in that same moment, betraying her silence .

"I need to stay away from you." She replied eventually.

"Why?" He asked, approaching her.

"Because it's better." She replied.

"Ok, try again." He said annoyed, now close to her.

"Because anybody that gets close to me, bad things happen to them." She explained to him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, confused. Then he looked around her apartment for the first time he had entered, he had been too focus on her beautiful face to notice that, apparently, a tornado had invested her house. "What happened here, Teresa?" He asked again, perplexed.

"Nothing, I was just searching for some stuff." She said, looking around, noting the envelope half opened on the table. She had totally forgotten about it and she was cursing herself, hoping to stop the unavoidable. He stepped in her personal space, noticing her strange behavior, and put his left hand on her shoulder while her right tilted her chin to make her look at him.

"Stop lying to me." He said then.

"I was searching for secret cameras and microphones." She replied eventually. "I think someone is keeping an eye on me or following me, whatever." She added, noting his confusion.

"Why do you think that?" He asked, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice. When she didn't reply, he looked around him once again, feeling that something was off. She noticed that his eyes were approaching dangerously the kitchen table, so she decided to reach it and take the envelope in her hands with some other random stuff that she could find around, to hide her real intent.

"I should clean this mess now, sorry." She said, trying to distract him.

"What's in there?" He asked, pointing at the envelope in her hands.

"Nothing important, advertising as usual." She replied, casually.

"Give it to me." He said firmly.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"You heard me the first time, make me see it." He said again.

"You're crazy." She said, walking away from him. Then she felt his hand on her arm and they started a little physical scuffle for the possession of the envelope that she would have really enjoyed in a different way in other circumstances. He won at the end and she hold her breath while he was opening the envelope.

 _9 PM, revelation_

His eyes changed, becoming cold, petrified, almost emotionless while she tried to take the situation in her hands.

"Jane?" She called him, uncertain.

"What.. what are these?" He asked, almost crushing the pics in his hand.

"A warning." She replied, hiding how really scared she was. "That's what I was talking about before."

"It's Charlie." He almost whispered.

"I know, I'm so sorry." She said, taking his hand.

"Who did this? Volker?" He asked.

"Probably yes, He threatened me this afternoon but, I don't have any evidence about the pics." She explained to him. He didn't react at her words, staring at the pictures in his hands, then he took the phone out, dialing a number. "Pete? Yes I know, I'm sorry, l should have been there thirty minutes ago but I can't tonight, there's been an emergency at work, look, say Charlie I am sorry and tell her I'll pick her up tomorrow for the hamburger's night, ok? And Pete, stay safe, lock the door and everything, you know, in time like these... ok wait, I've changed my mind, Let me talk with her." He explained confused, to his friend. She listened to his phone call and her heart melted a little for his sweet attempt to make Charlotte safe and the fact that he had promised her a double cheeseburger with chips the day after.

"Don't you want to stay with her tonight?" She asked him, once finished the call.

"I would like but it's better this way, I mean, if someone is following you or us.. with Sam and Pete she's safer, it's better to keep her away from me, maybe." He said logically to her.

"Away from me, Jane." She corrected him.

"It's the same." He said softly.

"Look, nothing will happen to her, ok? I promise you." She said, taking his hands, her eyes lucid.

"Teresa, you need to stop promising things you can't control." He said sweetly to her.

"No please, this is important, you need to believe me, you need to trust me." She said, not stopping the tears at the corner of her eyes.

"I believe you and I trust you." He replied, raising their clasped hands to wipe her eyes.

"Thank you." She said, between tears, bringing her arms around his neck. He tightened the embrace, pressing her against him, his arms on her back. He tried to calm her but it wasn't easy when he was the first to be totally upset by that news.

"I should probably go now." He said, resting his forehead against her.

"Stay with me tonight." She asked immediately, almost begging him.

Like he needed to be begged.

 _10 PM, tacos and confessions_

"Meat." She ordered.

"Here." He said.

"Cheese."

"Done."

"Beans cream."

"Here it is."

"Guacamole."

"Yes."

"Chili pepper."

"that's it."

"Ok, here we are, first taco done." She said, satisfied.

"God you're the lord of the tacos." He said, amused and the comment made her laugh.

"My father taught me." She explained, preparing the second one.

"Sweet! Let's hope that you won't poison me, though." He said jokingly, then he looked at her, shaking his head a little.

"What?" She asked him.

"You look adorable, making tacos while a psychopath is threatening your life." He remembered her.

"What else should I do? I'm safe here and the most important thing is that people around me are safe too.. Besides, until I'll stay at my place, nothing will happen but I wanna continue the investigations anyway, so, I need to find a way." She explained to him.

"Denounce him." He said.

"With which evidence, Jane?" She asked to him.

"I don't know, let's follow him, we could try to frame him." He said, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"We?" She asked perplexed.

"Yes, let me help you." He begged her.

"Jane, you're not a cop." She explained amused.

"I don't care, you have a gun, you will protect me." He said logically.

"I don't know, I could be very tempted to use it to shoot at you at the contrary." She said, making fun of him.

"Why? It's because I'm illegally handsome?" He asked serious.

"Oh please, shut up!" She said, laughing. She directed him toward the living room then, where they could find a place to eat, even if the room seemed basically a battlefield due to her search. She was surprised when he took a pillow, he put it on the floor and seated on it, then he fixed another pillow next to him, patting the same spot like he was inviting her. She smiled, reaching him. Sometimes she forgot that he was a very rich man, used to travel around the world, to date supermodels and drink champagne at the parties. The truth was, he was different, he sat on the floor with his Armani suit without any problem, he went to the supermarket to find the right bread to cook hamburgers for his daughter, he had invited her on a balloon ride and he had made her find a basket of grapes the day after.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked her.

"You." She answered immediately.

"What about me?" He said, eating his taco with gusto.

"I was thinking that you're a simple man, despite everything." She explained.

"Thank you, I guess." He replied.

"Where did you grow up?" She asked him.

"Here and there." He replied, evasive.

"What does it mean?" She asked again.

"I grew up in a carnival." He explained to her. "Nobody knows it, not even my wiki page." He said, chuckling.

"Why not?" She asked curious.

"I don't know, I didn't have a great time in there, my mother died when I was little, my father, well, wasn't exactly the father of the year.. the only thing that I liked was to travel around and see new places. I think it's where my passion for photography was born actually.. I was a lonely kid, I just needed something to do in my free time that, believe me, was a lot.. so I started to make drawings of the places that we visited, then eventually, one day, a girl gave me her photo camera as a gift.. it was a polaroid, I remember it like it was yesterday and then everything started. " he said casually.

"I bet that girl had a crush on you." She said sweetly.

"Well, she married me some years later." He said, looking at her.

"Oh, that's sweet." She said, a little embarrassed.

"No need to feel embarrassed, Teresa." He said sweetly, reading her reaction, "you know, I've never told it to anyone else before."

"I didn't mean to press you." She added immediately.

"You didn't. And, honestly, you are not the pressing one in this relationship here, Teresa." He said, smiling bitterly.

 _Midnight, lists_

"Why are you so stuck on me, Jane? There's nothing special here." She said, gesturing toward her.

"Seriously? Are we playing this game?" He asked exasperated.

"I'm not kidding, you could have every girl you want." She said.

"Apparently no since the only one that I want keeps distancing herself from me even if I'm pretty sure she has a big crush on me, thing that makes everything even more absurd, if you ask me." He told her.

"I'm not distancing myself from you now and I do not have a crush on you." She lied to him.

He grinned in response, throwing a napkin toward her, "I tell you three things you love about me right now, if you want."

"Ok, shoot." She said, challenging him.

"Only three is a little difficult, but I'll try anyway." He said, winking at her. "Leaving out the fact that you're obviously physically attracted by me, number one: you love my voice, especially when I use that seductive low tone that makes you melt on the spot or when I whisper in your ear, giving you thrills everywhere. Number two: the way I look at you, because I bet no one has never looked at you with the same intensity, like you were the most attractive and desirable woman on the planet. Number three: you love the fact that I was able to look immediately into you, into your soul, behind your sad eyes because you were tired to face the spectrum of your sufferance alone, but you couldn't even admit it to yourself. Do you want me to continue it?" He said, smiling mischievously at her.

She sighed in response, then she took the pillow under her, putting it upward on the floor so she could lie down and put her head on it. He looked amused at her and then he mimicked her position, resting on his belly to look at her. She smiled at the picture that they were making, enjoying their childish behavior.

"You know, Teresa, I have another list for you." He said, resting on his elbow and looking down at her.

"God, help me." She replied, rolling her eyes and making him chuckle.

"You will thank me later dear, so, since you said there's nothing special in you, even if you were just fishing for compliments, I'll tell you the things that I like the most about you." He explained to her.

"I wasn't fishing for compliments." She said in an high voice.

"Whatever. Ok, let's start with the important stuff.. I like your butt." He said seriously, gaining a slap on his arm in response. "Ok, I was kidding." He said, laughing. "I mean, not really kidding, I do love your butt but.. well, I love the fact that you don't realize how beautiful you are and I love to think that if I were your man I'd like to start every day reminding you that.. I love your complexity, in your mind, your soul, your heart, everything about you is complex, intriguing, nothing foregone. I love the way you hug me, standing on tiptoe, crushing yourself against me like we could become the same thing. I love the fact that you cried in front of me, showing me your precious weakness that I bet you haven't shown to nobody else.. I love your eyes, without makeup, because they're even more translucent than usual.. I love them with makeup because that smokey effect makes you even sexier if it's possible. I like to touch you." He said, caressing her stomach until his fingers traveled under her blouse to caress her skin without barriers. " Yes, especially at the beginning, when I start to touch you, because I can see you holding your breath at the first contact. And then, I love the fact that you're too proud to admit that you're falling for me the same way I'm falling for you."

"I'm not falling for you." She said, interrupting him.

"See?" He smiled at her. She smiled back while his fingers were still wandering on her skin, making a perfect dance. She sighed, putting her own hand on top of his, under her blouse. Then she started to guide his hand above, slowly, her eyes in his, until he could feel the fabric of her bra under his fingers. He was the one now, holding his breath, then, bravely, he raised the edge of the garment, caressing her breasts with the lightest touch. She closed her eyes, abandoning herself to the pleasure, until gaining back a little bit of good sense, she stopped his movements, hating herself in the same instant.

"Sorry." He said immediately to her, looking adorable.

"I've started it." She said shyly. "I need to fix some stuff before, ok?" She explained, eventually.

"Seems right." He replied, stretching down and taking her with him, making rest her head on his chest.

 _1 AM, sleep in an uncomfortable position, once again_

"We're about to fall asleep on the floor, Jane, we should move." She said, adjusting her head under his chin.

"Ok move you first." He mumbled, already half asleep.

"In five minutes." She replied, closing her eyes.

He smiled against her hair, remembering he had indeed forgotten something on his list, he loved to fall asleep, holding her, in unconventional and totally uncomfortable positions.

 **AN: Ok guys, so I can already hear some of you complaining about Pike but I promise, things will be solved next chapter! I hope you like this one anyway, please let me know in your reviews.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: here we are, longer chapter, you'll be both happy and mad at the end of it, I feel it! Anyway thank you for all your lovely reviews**!

They didn't sleep a lot that night, both too upset from the events of the previous day, both not really comfortable on the harsh surface; they didn't move though, because they both enjoyed each other's presence like it was a constant reminder that they were in this together and besides, it was easier to pretend that everything would have been all right in each other's arms. It was at seven in the morning, hour already close to their imposed awakening, when Jane felt Lisbon complaining slightly in her sleep, he watched her face twisted from the pain and he absently thought about the fact that she was beautiful even during a bad dream. He kissed her forehead, trying a delicate approach, then her eyelids in turn, until her restless movements stopped and she slowly began to wake up. She smiled at him, like she had just seen her favorite thing in the world and his heart melted a little.

"Do you have eggs?" He asked her seriously, deciding to give her some privacy about her nightmare.

She laughed amused and nodded, passing an hand through his messy curls.

"I go to make some breakfast for you, then." He said, trying to find a reason to separate himself from her before things could get out of hand. He couldn't help but giving her a small kiss on her nose, though. She could hear him wandering around the kitchen and she reflected about how much she was enjoying his presence in her home, a concept that was totally new to her. She liked to be alone in her apartment, she had always enjoyed that special solitude between her four walls, that's why Marcus didn't stop usually or didn't spend the night with her, not often at least. She also listened to Jane's call to Pete, she wasn't surprised that his first thought, just awakened, was for Charlie and she was relieved to hear that the little girl was still peacefully asleep in her bed.

"Breakfast is ready." He called her from the kitchen.

"Coming." She mumbled, still half asleep. She was greeted by the strong aroma of eggs and bacon and she didn't remember when it was the last time that someone had cooked a breakfast like that for her.

"Voilà." He said, putting the smoking dish in front of her.

"Smells delicious, thanks." She said, looking at him.

"Yes, I know what you're thinking, not only handsome and smart, but also a great chef.. marriage material here, my dear! Like women like to say." He said, grinning at her.

She tried to ignore the involuntary remark about the marriage and she enjoyed his fake presumption, instead.

"Actually, I was thinking about how much my back is killing me, maybe because an insane blond, pain in the ass, forced me to sleep on the floor last night." She replied, sassy.

"Forced? Really Teresa? You hurt me." He said, pretending to be hurt. Then he left his place on the stool and went behind her, his hands found her shoulders and started to massage delicately but firmly her muscles.

"What are you doing?" She asked, trying to suppress a moan of pleasure.

"I'm trying to make me forgive by you." He whispered in her ear.

She chuckled, a little bit hysterically, "You're on track." She replied and this time a small moan left her mouth.

"There's a particular spot where you need me the most?" He asked seductively in her ear while his hands slipped under her blouse, caressing her skin. She arched her back a little in response, rubbing her head against his chin. When things were starting to heat up dangerously, Teresa realized that someone was dueling with the keys to enter in her apartment and she separated herself from Jane just in time to see Marcus opening the door.

"Marcus? What are you doing here?" She asked him confused, a forced smile on her face.

"Hi honey.. plane landed early, I thought to have breakfast with you." He explained, then he turned toward Jane, "hey, Patrick? What are you doing here?" He asked, reaching Lisbon and giving her a kiss.

"I.." Jane started to say insecure.

"I called him because my car doesn't start, again.. he's still working with us on that case, remember? So I thought he could give me a lift." She said, interrupting him. Jane looked at her and she could feel a hint of disappointment in his gaze.

"Indeed." He said then, never leaving her eyes.

"Patrick, thank you! That's very kind of you." Marcus said, giving him a pat on the back, "but don't worry, I'm here now, I'll take care of it."

"Of course." Jane said, smiling weakly at him.

"How many times I told you to change your car, Teresa?" Marcus said to her, "If you'll accept to marry me, woman, this will be the first investment for the future." He kept saying, laughing.

Jane froze at those words and immediately looked at her, trying to regulate his accelerated breath.

"Have you told Jane about my proposal, honey?" Marcus asked her, kneading her shoulder, "She's so stubborn, God, Patrick, help me to convince her, I'm stuck on this limbo since when I asked her."

"I wonder why." Jane said and she could recognize the bitterness of his tone.

"So hard to please, my Teresa." Marcus said, looking at her. "I'm going to take a shower, honey! Patrick, see you soon." He said, heading toward the bathroom.

They stayed in silence for some seconds, an heavy tension filled the air, she was almost scared to look at him, fearing the intensity of his gaze.

"I should go, see you." He said eventually, leaving the room and walking toward the door.

"Wait." She said, running after him.

He stopped in front of the door and turned to look at her, "what?" He asked, the disappointed painted on his face.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"You always are." He said bitterly.

"I wanted to tell you but.."

"You're the most selfish person that I've ever known." He said, interrupting her. And she heard the door slammed in her face.

She had never felt selfish in all her life, she knew that the adjective had never belonged to her. She had spent the adolescence trying to collect the pieces of her devastated family, never putting herself and her priorities at the first place, because it was the right thing to do and because she loved her brothers too much to leave them alone. Once she had felt selfish though, when she had left Chicago to start her police career, trying to make stay the past behind, for once in her life, even if its spectra had never stopped to haunt her. She had justified her choice that time though, she had done everything in her power to keep the family together, maybe she had failed at the end considering that her father had died, but at least her brothers had grown up decently and with some integrity, she hoped. Then, she had started her new life in Sacramento when she had met a few occasions to be selfish, but never taken one of them. Until now. Maybe love made her selfish, she thought absently, still stuck in front of the door, trying to keep the tears small and silent, maybe fall in love had been a great bad idea, because love made her worst, love put her priorities before everything else when it should be the opposite. The final verdict was that she wasn't able to deal with love and she felt stupid because she had thought she could actually take the chance for once. One thing was sure now, if she couldn't have love, she didn't want to have a fake relationship anymore. She would have left Marcus and she would have done it now. She wiped her eyes, refreshing her face at the kitchen's sink and she mentally prepared herself to face him.

"Honey, have you seen my razor?" He asked and she felt his step approaching her.

"Marcus, I need to speak to you." She said in a whisper that probably didn't reach his ear.

"Are you ready for tonight? Gift's ready?" He asked her, once entered in the kitchen.

"Sorry?" She asked confused.

"You forgot, I knew it.. Virgil's birthday tonight, remember? What's the name of the restaurant by the way, I need to send the cake there." He said, drying his hair with a towel.

"Alfredo." She said mechanically.

"Great.. is everything all right?" He asked, noticing her strange mood.

"Yeah, need to buy him something though, totally forgot about it." She said while the only thing that she wanted to do was spend the day at home and cry.

"Well, the usual tie will be perfect, don't worry." He said nonchalantly and she wondered about how monotonous would have been her life once married with him; same restaurants, same holidays, same gifts, same sex. One thing was sure, she didn't want that life and soon she would have found the way to escape from it.

It was a quiet morning in the bureau, no one had been killed at least, so she found the time to go shopping for his boss and to think about a new strategy to frame Thomas Volker. She was trying stubbornly to erase his face and everything about him in her mind but the problem was, he kept remembering her that their battle was never over. No one knew about the warning that he had sent to her, Minelli was still too upset after their last official research, she knew how much it had costed him to give her the permission and since they had found anything, the disappointment had made him regret his choice almost immediately. Besides, today was his birthday, the man was surly, but she loved him like he was her father and she knew that he secretly loved to celebrate his birthday, especially with his team, even if he would have never admitted it. She didn't want to ruin that day with her obsession with Volker and with a possible break up with his grandson, that would have been too much, even for her recent selfishness. She wouldn't have bought him a tie though, she wanted something different, original for once, something that suggested a symbolical change, at least for her. She looked at the shop in front of her and she smiled. She had found the perfect idea.

She tried to reach Jane all day, insisting with calls and texts, feeling a little bit like a desperate adolescent. He had ignored all of them and his rejection hurt her more than anything else. She was returning to work after her insane shopping when she felt someone pulling at the sleeve of her jacket.

"Hi Teresa."

"Charlie?" She smiled surprised, looking at her. "What are you doing here?" She asked, holding her breath, hoping to see him too.

"Charlotte, for God's sake, are you trying to give me an heart attack?" A woman told her, exiting from the shop behind them.

"I had to say hello to Teresa." The child explained logically.

"Well, next time I'd like to be informed of your plans, Miss!" Sam said ironically.

Lisbon looked at the woman and she liked her immediately.

"I'm Teresa." She introduced herself, offering her hand to her.

"Sam." The woman replied, eyeing her suspiciously.

"She's Paddy's girlfriend." Charlotte said enthusiastically.

"Really?" Sam asked with an high voice.

"Just a friend." She said, shaking her head and looking at an incredulous Sam.

"Noo, Paddy told me he likes Teresa from zero to one hundred thousand, two hundred thousand!" Charlotte said impatiently.

"That's a lot." Sam stated, looking suspiciously at Teresa that was trying to ignore the wave of warm that that little confession had brought in her. She smiled sheepish at the woman.

"Will you come tonight at the Hamburger's night?" Charlotte asked her, grabbing her sleeve.

"I can't tonight, honey." She replied, falling for that little girl a little more.

"Next time?" She asked hopeful.

"Next time, deal." She said, hoping with all her heart that there would have been a next time and ignoring the fact that Jane wasn't replying to her since that morning.

"Time to go now, Charlie." Sam said, taking the little girl's hand. She was about to leave when she approached Teresa, stepping in her personal space. "Be careful with him, he can seem a jackass sometimes, but he's the opposite and he had suffered a lot." Sam said, looking directly in her eyes and she could recognize the sense of protections behind her words.

"I know." She replied and then she watched the couple disappear.

She dialed Jane's number but he still ignored her.

She wasn't in the mood to celebrate, that evening, she wasn't in the mood for nothing to be honest, even if meeting Charlotte had improved her day a little bit. She thought about the fact that two times she had tried to end her relationship with Marcus and both times had been interrupted, like the destiny didn't want to make her do that choice, the saddest part was that she hadn't done anything to ignore those two interruptions.

"Ready?" Marcus asked her in his impeccable suit.

"Yeah, coming." She had chosen a simple black dress, knee length with high heels to complete the look, maybe because she wanted to have something else to focus on, beyond Jane, and her aching feet could do the trick.

"Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are." Marcus said, looking at her in the mirror. He had not a very great way to make compliments, he had always been like that and at the beginning of their relationship she actually found that aspect really funny. Now it annoyed her a little bit, obviously, also because she had just met the man who was able to kill you with his compliments and the fact that his voice made seem every single word, even more unforgettable made everything worst, or better.

"Why don't you want to tell me the gift?" Marcus asked in the car.

"Surprise! Not a tie though, I'm afraid." She said, eyeing the pack behind her through the rearview mirror.

They arrived at the restaurant and she saw her team waiting for her outside, like they were waiting for her permission to enter in the restaurant and she smiled at the picture they made. Cho was sighing impatiently, clearly tired of waiting, his tie was too tight, she wasn't sure he could breathe properly and he guarded in his hand a gift, that she was pretty sure it was a book, seen the shape, a book that Cho loved and Virgil had never hear about, like every year. Grace was lovely in her red dress, she was putting the lipstick on her lips and she had sparks in her eyes, maybe she was the only one really excited for the evening. She couldn't blame her, she knew that, since the redhead had joined her unity, her private and social life had been basically cut off, but Grace had never complained, she was an incredible worker and the fact that she was genuinely excited for a night out was sweet. Then there was Rigsby and Rigsby was starving, judging by the furtive looks he was giving to the dishes on the tables inside the restaurant, gaining a disapproving look from Grace and an impassive stare from Cho that actually hurt him more.

"Hey guys." Lisbon said.

"Boss!" Grace greeted her, "You're beautiful." Grace said honestly.

"Thanks Grace, I guess we can come in." She said to the group. And she could only distinguish a "thank God" by Rigsby that almost ran inside after her permission.

The dinner went out nicely, she loved the company of her team so she wasn't surprised and Virgil from his side, was a lonely man, his team was, more or less, his family and she was really relieved that his sister, Marcus' mother, couldn't be in Sacramento that day, too busy with some work stuff. She knew that Virgil was a little bit disappointed by that, but she hoped that his team could give him the perfect birthday he deserved. The moment of the gifts arrived and Virgil was observing the umpteenth book that Cho had given him, like she had expected, with a face that was a mix of pain and disbelief. Rigsby had bought a bottle of Bourbon that Virgil had really appreciated, while Grace a lovely briefcase. Then, it was her turn, their turn better, even if make the gift together had given her an unexpected anxiety, anyway, she had chosen the gift at the end.

"Teresa, you bought me a cat?" Virgil said traumatized, taking the little animal outside the pack. She had left the animal wandering around her garage during the day, until it was time for the dinner when she had put it in a box that made him able to breathe.

"You like him?" She asked amused. "He will keep you company, grumpy!"

Virgil contemplated the animal in his hands like he didn't know if cry or laugh.

"Are you crazy?" Marcus whispered to her.

"I'm perfectly fine, he already loves him." She said, gulping down the wine from her glass.

The night was about to end, they all were drinking the last glass of sweet wine while Rigsby was eating her fourth piece of cake when, suddenly, Marcus tried to collect everyone's attention.

"I have an announcement to make." Marcus said smiling and taking her hand. She had never experimented a panic attack before but she knew the moment was about to arrive.

 _Jane's house, Hamburger's night._

"I met Teresa this afternoon." Charlotte said, dueling with the bottle of ketchup in her hands.

"Really?" Jane asked, ignoring the mixed sensation that her name gave him.

"Yes, I told her you like her two hundred thousand." The little girl said, covering her chips with too much ketchup.

"Of course you did." Jane sighed.

"I also invited her next time I come here." She explained serious.

"You did what?" Jane asked, stealing a chip from her plate.

"Tonight she couldn't.. and she seemed sad." She replied. Jane stole another chip, ignoring the complaints of Charlotte while he was thinking about the several calls and texts from her that he had ignored all day. He knew that she deserved that treatment but the problem was he had never been a proud man in his life, it was a way of being that had never belonged to him. If he wanted a thing, he just took it, despite everything and now he just wanted her, maybe even more than before. Later, alone in his living room with Charlotte already under the covers, he was reflecting about his next move, his phone between his hands, ready. Suddenly someone rang at his door.

"Naomi?" He said surprised, looking at the girl in front of him.

"Hey handsome." She greeted him, launching herself in his arms.

"Wait, wait.. are you drunk?" Jane asked, separating himself from her.

"A little bit." She mumbled, trying to enter in his apartment.

"What are you doing? You can't, Charlotte is here." He explained, stopping her.

"Please, just five minutes, I feel like crap and I missed you." Naomi said and he could see she was about to throw up.

"Come in, don't be noisy." He sighed, making her enter.

 _Alfredo's restaurant._

"I have an announcement to make." Marcus said, taking her hand. "Since you all are basically Teresa's family, I just wanted you to know that I asked her to be my wife." He finished, winking at her.

The group burst out with compliments and greeting while she just wanted to disappear. She felt in a bubble, all the sounds, the laughter, the voices of joy reached her not completely and in a distant way. She took the glass of wine in front of her and she gulped it down in a sip, then she mentally prepared herself for what was coming.

"I have an announcement to make too." She said, interrupting the cheerful atmosphere.

"Finally." Marcus whispered to her ear, making her feel even worst.

"Since you are part of my family and since my private life is not private anymore." She started, eyeing Marcus, "I just.. I just want you to know that I won't marry Marcus." She said, sounding absurd even to herself.

Silence filled the room.

"You're kidding, right?" Marcus asked with a secure smile.

"I'm not. I'm sorry but I'm in love with another man." And she said it at the end. "I said it." She whispered to herself. She looked at Marcus and she apologized once again, then she stood up, went to Virgil and kissed him on the cheek. "I didn't mean for it to happen, especially not today I'm sorry." She whispered to him.

"I just want you to be happy." He whispered back and she didn't know if she had loved him more.

Once out from the restaurant, she called a cab, wanting desperately to see Jane as soon as possible. When she was in front of his apartment, she stopped for some seconds to elaborate what had just happened but she smiled at the end because it was the first time she felt hopeful again. She knocked at his door and then rang the bell at the same time, too excited to check her movements and then she saw him in front of her and her heart beat faster.

"Hey." He said, looking at her while a traitor smile appeared on his mouth. She was beautiful.

"I did it." She said immediately.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I left him.." She said shyly and his small smile became a beautiful grin. "I'm sorry I didn't do it before.. I was.." But he interrupted her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her full of passion at the beginning and softly toward the end. He rested his forehead against her and both smiled sweetly at each other.

"Patrick?" A female voice came from the house. Naomi appeared in nothing but a long shirt, probably Jane's one. "Hey Teresa." She greeted her, smiling.

Lisbon freed herself from his grip immediately. "What she's doing here?" She asked sharply.

"I swear it's not what it seems." Jane tried to explain.

Lisbon chuckled bitterly, "I should probably go, I'm sorry I ruined your little party." She said, gesturing toward Naomi.

"Look, she was drunk—"

"Even better." She said sarcastically.

"Nothing happened." He said, grabbing her arm.

She looked at him with a coldness that he had never found in her pure eyes. "Leave me, now!"

Then she ran away, took the first cab available and disappeared in the night with only one certainty;

Now, she was really alone.

 **AN: I wanted to say that I took the pet idea for Minelli from last chapter of the beautiful Reconnected by Mayzee. (Mayzee, I hope you won't mind** **J** **) Anyway, Volker will come back next chapter and don't hate me please, the positive thing is that with Marcus is over, please stay with me. I hope you liked it despite the end, let me know, please.**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: I'm really sorry for the delay, I was very busy. I will be faster with next chapters, I promise it! Enjoy this chapter!**

How to deal with disappointment? She didn't know it, even if she had met failure a lot in her life but that kind of disappointment, born from the illusory hope that something great would have happened soon, hurt her more than everything. She hated that she had fallen in love with a man, a trap that she had always been able to avoid until one month ago, apparently, and while she was starting to enjoy that new sensation, embracing a sweet weakness that made her feel more human for once, everything had crumbled even before starting. That didn't diminish her feelings toward Jane though, at the contrary it made them even more powerful if it was possible. She had just met a new friend called jealousy that was slowly eating her alive, especially while she kept torturing herself with images of Jane and other women half naked in his house. Maybe that was what she deserved, she had just left her possible future husband in front of all the team for another man and in a blink of an eye, she would have called it Karma if she wasn't deeply Catholic. Time to move on, focus on her job and employ her energies in something else, or better in someone else who caused her different feelings. She hadn't forgotten about Thomas Volker, she simply couldn't but it had been easier to deal with him alternating those distressing moments with pleasant ones that answered to the name of Patrick Jane. It had been a week since that night when everything had changed, a week of freedom from Marcus and a week of imposed separation from Jane.

"Lisbon, a word." Minelli said, entering in her office.

"Hey." Lisbon smiled surprised, trying to hide the embarrassment; she hadn't really talked to him since his birthday.

"How are you?" He asked, sitting on the chair in front of her desk.

"Great." She replied, hoping to sound convincing.

"It doesn't seem to me, since you spend almost every night closed in your office, doing basically nothing." He said to her.

"I like my office." She protested weakly.

"Teresa."

"Ok, things could be better.. what about you? What about.." She wasn't able to end the question.

"Marcus?" He asked and then saw her nodding, "Marcus is fine, despite everything.. I bought him a trip in Hawaii to cheer him up a little."

"Wow, I need to be cheered up too, then." She said ironically, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt him." She added then sincerely.

"I know, but you've done it anyway." He said kindly. "Look, you talked about another man, how about him?"

"Nothing, I was wrong." She replied quickly.

"That was fast." He said.

"Well, it didn't work." She explained.

"Or you ran away as always.." Virgil said.

"Please, leave it." She asked softly.

"I will.. for now at least." He said, gauging her reaction.

"Look, about Volker.." She said tentatively, changing subject.

"Teresa.." He warned her.

"Wait, let me finish.. I reflected about it, I have an idea and it's pretty good, I guess." She said.

"Go on." He surrendered to her.

"What if we've started with the wrong approach? What if we try a different one?" She asked, noticing the confusion painted on his face. "We attached him since the start, we've accused him, let's say we haven't been very accommodating with him.. so, I was thinking, maybe, I should apologize to him, for a start?"

"Apologize?" He asked incredulous.

"We need to try something different, I play nice, I apologize.. I could also.."

"What?" He interrupted her.

"Look, I think he has a crush on me.. or at least he is attracted by me.. I don't want to sound presumptuous, I swear, but I can feel it, besides, he asked me out more than once." She explained.

"Let me get this straight, do you want to seduce him?" Virgil asked worried.

"Seduce is a strong word.."

"Do you think he will be so naïve to trust you?" he asked amused.

"No, that's why it will be a long path.. small steps in this direction.. keep your enemies close they say." She said to him.

"I don't know Teresa, if Volker is really that kind of man you think he is, it could be too dangerous, the situation could get out of hand.. it's too risky." He told her.

"Let me try." She said, almost begging him.

"The truth is, I'm worried, because I don't know how many lines you've willed to cross to make him pay." He said.

"What are you talking about?" She asked confused.

"You know what I'm talking about." He answered.

"We won't reach that point, oh God, don't let me think about it, please." She replied horrified.

"Let's start with the apologies and then let's see." He said at the end.

"Great." She replied, her eyes sparkling. "I already know when there will be the first contact."

"Where?"

"We took his agenda during the search, we didn't find anything useful on it, obviously, but at least we know his movements now.. there will be a social event tomorrow, he has been invited and I thought I could go, finding an excuse or something." She explained to him.

"That's ok, but take Cho with you and don't get too far with this thing." He said and she thanked him.

She had finally found something that could make her feel better, even if it comported meeting Volker again. She didn't know though, that Volker wouldn't have been the only man to upset her, that night. She hadn't any idea about the evening that was waiting for her, she only knew that a certain Miss Flynn had arranged an inauguration party for her new matchmaking agency, inviting all the coolest people of the city: actors, models and rich people and this had given Lisbon an easy excuse to contact her and to offer her a private security for the party, seen the importance of the guests in question; a proposal that Erica Flynn had immediately accepted, thrilled to have unusual guests to her event, but recommending an elegant dress code. They organized a fake security team that she would have coordinated with Cho's help. This decision made her able to wander around the party without being busy in those affairs.

Cho was waiting for her outside her condo, she looked at herself in the mirror for a last time and then reached her partner in the car.

"Hey Boss, look good." Cho said with a rapid glance toward her. She had chosen an emerald gown, strapless, a choice she would have regretted soon after spending all the evening pulling up the dress.

"You too, Cho!" She said, admiring his lucid tuxedo.

"I hate this crap." He said back and she chuckled, sharing the same discomfort.

"Maybe you'll find the woman of your dreams, Kimball." She teased him.

"I just hope to avoid those matchmaking crappy games." He replied impassive.

"Oh God." She said, terrified.

The party was in the lovely terrace of the Mozart Hotel, one of the best in town and she started to feel nervous once arrived, sensing a strange vibe around her. She spotted Volker almost immediately, he was chatting with Erica Flynn, she had recognized her because her face was on every possible poster of the event. She waited for their conversation to be over and then she approached him, deciding to end the matter as soon as possible. Cho nodded in her direction, giving her his silent encouragement. The moment Thomas Volker saw her, she felt naked in front of him, since his obstinate gaze that was undressing her from head to feet.

"Miss Lisbon, you never stop to surprise me." He said, grabbing a flute of Champagne from a tray and handing it to her.

"Thanks." She said, smiling to him and drinking the Champagne, without leaving his eyes.

"You're beautiful tonight, so classy." He said to her.

"Well I could say the same about you." She replied, fearing to have exaggerated a little, judging by his incredulous reaction.

"Miss Lisbon, you're strangely nice tonight, is it because you're off duty?" He asked mischievously.

"Actually, I just wanted to apologize to you.. I've been unfair toward you, totally unprofessional and I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that." She answered, hoping to sound convincing.

He looked at her with a mix of surprise and smugness, "you never stop to surprise me indeed." He said, scanning her face.

"I'm the first to admit when I'm wrong." She said softly to him. He kept staring at her in that way that made her totally uncomfortable. "Why here anyway? You're searching for your soulmate?" She asked teasingly.

"Oh I don't like this matchmaking thing, I'm attracted to women totally different from me to be honest." He replied seductively.

"I'm with you, besides, it's hard to believe that a man like you needs this kind of things to find a woman." She said smiling.

"What about you?" He asked her.

"I'm just enjoying an alternative evening for once." She answered casually.

"I really like this mundane side of you, Agent." He said to her.

"Then, I think you will see it more often now.. anyway, I'll go around a bit, see you later." She told him.

"I count on it." He said, winking at her.

She walked fast in the opposite direction, wanting to put a considerable distance between them. She didn't like the way Volker looked at her, with lust and determination like she was his next prey to catch but she was satisfied about the outcome of their brief exchange. It was the first step, the first of many steps, and she needed to get used to his presence. She saw Cho near the pool with a lovely girl next to him, at least someone was having fun tonight and she didn't want to interrupt the sweet scene. Made curious by a little crowd, collected around a makeshift stage, that was laughing and clapping hands enthusiastically, she approached it, finding out they were taking part at one of those matchmaking games that Cho had wisely predicted before. Erica Flynn was leading the act with passion and gaining a lot of luxurious gazes by the men around her. She was incredibly beautiful.

"Thank you Elizabeth and Tom, you make a great couple." Erica said, clapping her hands. "Let's find another couple.. you know it's your turn now." She said smiling and looking toward someone that Lisbon couldn't see from her position. "Come on, you promised me, come here Patrick!"

The moment Lisbon saw Patrick Jane reaching the stage with a sheepish smile on his face, she cursed the day she had decided to join that event. The only thing that she knew in that moment was that she needed to escape as soon as possible because she wasn't ready to face him and maybe she was still in time to avoid the inevitable. She turned, ready to leave the crowd when Erica's words stopped her.

"What about that lovely woman dressed in green.. hey you, don't run away, please, join us!" Erica said excited.

Lisbon stopped abruptly and she was pretty sure that people around her had heard the unequivocal " _shit_ " that had left her mouth in that exact moment. She turned slowly and despite the fact that her intention had been to ignore him as much as possible, her instinct betrayed her, since the first thing she did was to meet his gaze and to succumb to it immediately. She reached the stage with an insane anxiety.

"Here you are, what's your name, dear?" Erica asked her.

"Teresa." She replied weakly.

"Teresa meet Patrick, Patrick, this is Teresa." Erica introduced them. They shook hands embarrassingly but Lisbon noticed the way his fingers had tried to linger on her skin during the brief contact.

"Ok, let's start guys." Erica said excited. "First question: do you believe in love at first sight?"

"No." Lisbon replied.

"Yes." Jane said instead.

"Good, well it's only the first question, don't worry, let's go with the second: When was your last relationship and how long did it last?" Erica asked professionally.

"Great." Lisbon muttered to herself, "it ended a week ago and it lasted almost an year." She replied, lowering her gaze.

"Five years ago, lasted a lifetime." He replied in a whisper and Lisbon met his eyes sweetly.

"Ok, let's try with easiest questions." Erica said disconsolate, "How do you prefer to spend the holidays?"

"Mountain."

"Sea."

Erica sighed exasperated but didn't give up, "Is religion important to you?"

"Deeply."

"No way."

"Oh God." Erica muttered to herself. "Dogs or cats?" She asked hopeful.

"Dogs."

"Cats."

"Really? Ok, how do you feel about relatives visiting?" Erica asked with a hint of irritation.

"I barely have relatives."

"Same."

"See?" Erica said triumphant, "finally something in common. Ok guys, this one is good, how is your ideal date?"

Lisbon replied, "Uhm.. I don't know, I.."

"She would love a brunch between hills and grapevines on a hot-air balloon with some good wine to make the experience sweeter and more exhilarating at the same time." Jane said, interrupting her and looking at her to gauge her reaction.

"That sounds so romantic, Patrick." Erica said dreamy.

"Unconventionally romantic, the way she likes it." He added, never leaving Lisbon's eyes.

"Well, what about you, then?" Erica asked him.

"Me?" Jane said.

"He doesn't have an ideal date, he just wants to impress the woman that he takes out and to make her feel the luckiest girl on the planet because he's the kind of man who doesn't like receiving gifts, he likes to make them to see the joy painted on the faces of the people he cares about." Lisbon interrupted him, returning his gaze.

"Wow." Erica said, breaking the atmosphere, "did you guys already know each other?" She asked them and they shared a small smile in response. "Ok guys, last one, what is the one thing about yourself that you would like to tell him?" She asked, looking at Lisbon.

Lisbon contemplated the question, almost tempted to decline it, then she changed her mind, "I.. I have no regrets for what I've done, despite everything, I would still do it, I would.. I would always choose you." Lisbon said looking at him and ignoring a confused Erica Flynn next to her.

"Patrick?" Erica called his attention.

"I will never give up on you.. you can keep running away but I'll reach you every time and everywhere." He replied, never leaving her eyes.

"Well, a big applause for this amazing couple." Erica said excited. "Thank you guys, you've been amazing!"

Lisbon took advantage of the fact that Erica was thanking and greeting Jane personally to leave the stage and to try to find Cho. She took her phone to call him but she found a text from him saying that she could leave without him because he had found an alternative lift. She smiled at the screen, happy for his friend. She was about to put away her phone when it suddenly rang.

"Lisbon." She replied.

"Teresa? It's Volker here." Like she hadn't recognized his voice immediately.

"Hey, why do you call me?" She asked, ignoring the nervousness she was feeling.

"I was thinking about a dinner together, what do you say?" He asked smitten.

"A dinner?" She echoed nervously.

"Well yes, since you seemed so eager to apologize, I thought it would be nice." He said.

"Yes, ok.. that's ok." She replied, hoping to sound convincing.

"Tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night, that's a date." And then she ended the call.

"Wow, you've already replaced me?" A voice asked beside her.

She turned to find Jane who had obviously eavesdropped the conversation. "It's a work thing." She replied casually.

"I meant what I said before, you know it right?" He asked, approaching her.

"I know." She said shyly, lowering her gaze.

He stopped in front of her and took a lock of her hair in his fingers, playing with it. "You're lovely tonight." He whispered to her. She covered his hand and she brought it in her hair, making entwine his fingers in it. He inhaled her smell, loving her proximity.

"You owe me an explanation." She said, trying to remain lucid.

"I know." He replied sweetly, interlacing his other hand in her hair, now taking her face in his hands.

"Take me home." She said eventually and he kissed her forehead, smiling.

 **Next chapter seems to be an important one, let me know if you like this one, please.**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I'm really sorry for the long wait, but writer's block sucks (even if you're not a real writer). This chapter is nothing big but I wanted to give you something because you still follow my story and you're so nice in the reviews, really thanks, to all of you. Fluffy chapter for you, enjoy it!**

 **This chapter is for Auri, fingers crossed for tomorrow.**

The return at home was silent, none of them felt the need of talking, like if being together once again was already enough. Besides, the air around them spoke for themselves, a mix of anticipation, anxiety, a little bit of anger and a lot of mutual attraction. She knew that, once entered in her apartment, this time, she didn't have excuses anymore, she couldn't play the Marcus card and she couldn't run away from him, also because, for once, she didn't want it. She wanted him, as closed as possible, she wanted to feel his presence that had always made her feel like there was hope again, even in the worst circumstances. She looked at him busy with the driving, he seemed tensed, nervous and she wondered if she had ever seen him like this before, during their brief but intense relationship. Once arrived in her apartment, she went in her room for a quick change of clothes, then she busied herself with the excuse of making some tea, but with the only purpose to take some distance from him and to think about her next move; then she felt his arms embracing her from behind and she surrendered almost immediately to his contact. When he heard her sigh a little too loudly, he smiled against her hair, tightening his hold.

"What will you invent after the tea? You could paint that wall, renovate the décor, clean the fridge..what else? Let's see.." He said seductively in her ear and she smiled in response.

"What's wrong with my décor?" She asked, toying with his fingers. He chuckled and let her turn toward him, to look at her in the eyes, trapping her slightly to the counter top.

"You don't need to be nervous, we can stay here all night and do exactly nothing, I don't care. I just.. I just want.."

"What?" She asked, interrupting him.

"I just want to order some pizza." He finished his thought, gaining a not too friendly slap from her in response.

"Hey." He said smiling and taking the hand that had just slapped him. "I just want to be with you."

She tried to ignore the rush of emotions that those simple and sloppy words had evoked in her, because the problem was that everything that came out from his mouth was meaningful for her; even the most foregone thing, seemed special, unique somehow, like no one had ever said it before.

"We should order some pizza, then." She said, mimicking his joke.

"By the way, I haven't asked you why you were at the party." Jane asked casually after she had ended the call for their ordination.

"Working on a case." She replied casually. "What about you? Try to find the woman of your dreams? She teased him.

"Maybe." He replied, staring deeply at her.

"How do you know Erica Flynn, anyway?" She asked curious.

"I met her at some event, she's like the queen of these social and mundane things.. a very attractive woman, isn't she?" He asked her, teasingly.

"Of course." She replied, trying to hide that hint of irritation in her voice; he smirked, enjoying her childish jealousy.

"The answer is no, Teresa." He said then.

"What?" She asked confused.

"The answer to the question that you are dying to ask me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied with nonchalance.

"I have never slept with Erica." He said eventually.

"Oh, that's a surprise." She said ironically.

"I'll surprise you more, telling you that I've never slept with Naomi."

"You don't need to tell me this." She said.

"Apparently yes, since you stopped talking to me since that night." He replied, a little exasperated.

"Look, I wasn't in the position to ask anything from you, I had no rights-"

"No, you hadn't." He interrupted her sharply.

They stared at each other for some minutes, like they were studying their next move, Lisbon with a hint of irritation in her eyes, Jane of amusement, still slightly trapping her body against the counter top with his arms.

"Actually, I had some rights." She said eventually, sounding almost childish, arms folded.

"Enlighten me." He grinned at her.

"You know what? Never mind." She replied, trying to free herself from his trap.

He invaded her personal space a little more, closing the distance, "you won't run away again, Teresa! There's no Marcus anymore, no Naomi or whatever, it's you and me now, deal with it." He said softly and she could almost touch his nose with her own, seen their proximity.

"I'm scared." She said in a whisper.

"Of what? He asked, searching for her eyes.

"Everything." She replied.

"A little more specific, Teresa?" He said, smiling and she looked at him finding in his gaze an intensity made of sweetness that made her really realize how much he cared.

"I'm scared because I know you since a month, maybe something more, but it doesn't matter because it seems even less comparing it to the things I have in my mind." When he didn't stop her, waiting for her to keep talking, she knew that he needed more explanations.

"I thought about making love with you, more than once." She said, lowering her gaze.

"That makes two of us, what's the problem?" He asked, tilting her chin toward him to find eye contact again.

"You don't understand." She sighed. "I thought about making love with you, not sex, love." She saw a smile forming on his lips and she didn't know if it made her feel more irritated or relieved. "You know what? Did you want the truth? Screw it! I thought about dating you, about having you as a normal boyfiend, living with you, getting a dog, like the one I had when I was little, I thought.. I want a family with you, a little yellow house in Napa to see the hot-air balloons out of the window and I want to choose the curtains for that freaking window and I know that all of this is incredibly insane but-"

"What color?" He asked her.

"Excuse me?" She replied confused.

"What color do you want those curtains for that freaking window?" He asked serious.

"Well, I don't know, I still have to choose the-" her words were interrupted by the gentle touch of his lips on her mouth. He kissed her once, lightly, then he stopped to gauge her reaction; when she didn't say anything, he kissed her a second time, taking her head in his hands in the process.

"I want to go slow." She said against his lips. He nodded and started to kiss her slowly, almost caressing her lips until she opened her mouth to feel his tongue playing with her own. It was sweet, slow and full of promises and she found herself asking, contradictory, for more. She put her arms around his neck to intensify their contact, he replied raising her on the counter top and putting himself between her legs that were slightly open; he kissed her again, not changing his slow pace, thing that frustrated her even more. She encircled his legs with her ankles, making him come impossibly close and she decided to take control of the situation. She started to kiss him hard, fast, deepening the kiss more every second. He almost arched his back in response, bringing her body against his in the process, making it raise from the counter top and taking its weight on him. One of his hand found her hair, while the other went under her t-shirt, teasing her back. His touch made her arch in turn and this gave him the chance to explore her neck with wet kisses that almost made her insane. When his hand left her back and found her stomach, she almost trembled under his touch, then, feeling brave, she took the hem of her t-shirt in her hands and removed it, remaining with a strapless green lacy bra in his arms. He made her sit on the counter top again and stared deeply at her, trying to control the new wave of excitement that was invading him.

"I thought you wanted to go slow." he said softly, caressing the exposed skin of her breast.

"I've changed my mind." She replied, biting her lip. He mimicked her gesture and bit lightly her lower lip, on the same spot. She took his head in her hands, grabbing his curls gently and keeping her mouth out of his reach, to tease him. When, after the third attempt, he had finally touched her lips once again and they were about to restart their sensual dance, the doorbell rang.

"Who is it?" He asked hoarsely.

"Your freaking pizza." She replied amused, leaving the counter top and approaching the door.

"Forget something?" He asked, throwing her t-shirt at her. "Do you want to give a complex to the poor boy behind that door, woman?"

She laughed, put the t-shirt on and opened the door.

They ate the pizza like it was the best meal they had ever had and Lisbon wondered if it would have been always like that with him, if every experience would have been incredible and special somehow, even the most common ones. She reflected also about the fact that the night after she would have spent the night with another man that evoked in her totally different emotions. She needed to tell Jane about her plan but that night everything seemed perfect, even the tomato sauce at the corner of his mouth was perfect and she didn't want to change anything and most of all, she didn't want to ruin anything, for once.

"Want to watch something?" He asked her from the living room while she was cleaning the table.

"Why not, I don't think there will be something good at this time, though." She replied from the kitchen.

"Look, I've just found your favorite movie." He said cheerfully.

"How do you know about my favorite movie?" She asked amused, approaching him on the couch.

"If I'm right, I'll take you to dinner tomorrow evening.. Breakfast at Tiffany's, here it is." He said, looking at her.

"And what makes you think it's my favorite movie?" She asked curious.

"Well, you are the modern version of Holly Golightly, of course." When he saw the confusion painted on her face he started to explain. "You think that you don't belong to anyone because no one really knows you, you're a wild soul, without a name, like your cat.. and here comes the part when we'll pretend that you have a cat.. all of this, until you'll meet an handsome stranger who'll make you fall in love with him instantly."

"Let's hope to find that handsome stranger, then." She teased him.

"Funny." He said, enjoying their banter.

She laughed and then said. "Oh that's a relief, I thought I was a woman looking for the richest worm-man living in Brazil to marry him."

"Maybe that was your plan since the beginning." He said serious.

"Shut up." She said, laughing.

"So am I right? Favorite movie?" He asked hopefully.

"My mom's favorite." She replied, a hint of nostalgia in her voice.

"I see." He said sweetly, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. "What's your favorite then?"

"I'll go out with you the day you'll guess it correctly." She replied misteriously.

"That's unfair, Holly.. but I'm in game." He said determined.

They watched the movie together, keeping their respective positions on the couch, his fingers though, were always in her hair, his touch constant, tender and tempting at the same time.

At the end, Holly Golightly broke down the barriers and surrended to love and Lisbon knew now, that her own surrender had finally begun.

 **I hope you won't be too disappointed, let me know in your reviews:)!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Hey guys, thank you for all your lovely reviews, this is a filler chapter I guess, hope you like it anyway.**

Jane spent the rest of the night trying to guess her favorite movie and to keep himself from touching her every minute or two; he found out he was attracted by her contradiction, or maybe it was her moody nature, that one that made her act unpredictability, even in the easiest circumstances. The way she was holding herself now, making almost impossible to him regain their previous intimacy, so easily reached before, was frustrating but challenging at the same time. He didn't know if her fear was the main reason behind that behavior, but another thing he found out was that he felt the need to respect her in all her complexity because he knew, deep down, that he wouldn't have found another woman like her. Especially considering that the woman in question was incredibly beautiful. He wasn't a superficial man, never been, but he was an artist, an aesthetics lover that admired beauty in all its aspects; Lisbon was one of those aspects, a mix of delicacy and pride, softness and angularity, the perfect muse. Even now when the knees pulled up on the couch, like a rebellious teenager and her eyes glossy due to the final scene of the movie, he assumed, she made a particular picture that he couldn't stop to admire.

"This scene is lovely." She said, eyes glued to the screen.

"It is." He whispered, eyes glued to her.

She turned toward him, smiling shyly. He looked at her for some seconds then approached her, covering a little her body with his; he kissed her forehead, her nose and her lips lightly, then he retreated a little bit, noticing the lovely blush on her cheeks.

"Do I really need to guess your favorite movie to take you out?" He asked serious, almost touching her lips with his own. She nodded amused. "You know that I'll spend all day tomorrow thinking about it?"

"Well, I find it difficult, considering that you'll probably spend the day photographing twenty-something skinny models with one leg long as two of mine." She replied back.

"I love that you are already so jealous." He teased her.

"I'm not." She snapped back.

"Of course you are, but don't worry, I'll get used to your short legs pretty soon." He said to her, playfully.

She hit him on his arm once and when she was about to hit him again, he circled her wrist with his hand, then he took the other one and put her arms above her head, pinning her to the back of the couch.

"Your legs are pretty perfect to me, I would like to see them a little more." He whispered in her ear.

"In your dreams." She said in response and he kissed her sassy mouth once again, more sensually this time.

"I should go now." He said, regretting his words almost immediately.

"Maybe you should." She sighed, her eyes never leaving his lips.

She led him to the door, fighting the urge to ask him to stay.

"I'll try to guess it before tomorrow night so I can take you to dinner." He said, before leaving.

"Don't worry, you have time, I'm already busy tomorrow night." She answered.

"Really? I thought we were exclusive." He said playfully.

"It's work stuff." She said, trying to hide that hint of apprehension in her voice.

"You know that you won't get rid of me easily, right?" He asked her.

"I don't want to." She said shyly and he loved her unusual display of sweetness, especially because he knew how much it had cost her.

"See you soon, grumpy." He greeted her, kissing her temple tenderly. She watched him walk away, then she left the door and reached him, taking his hand in hers; when he turned around, she took his face in her small hands, she went on tiptoe and she kissed him breathlessly.

"Wow, what was that?" He asked hoarsely.

"Goodnight Patrick." She said and then she returned inside.

"You need to wear a microphone." Virgil told her.

"There's no need, Virgil, it's just a dinner." Lisbon replied.

"A dinner with Thomas Volker, Teresa." He said.

"I know, but I won't exceed, it's just a first contact, I promise you, I'll be careful." She smiled at him.

"You don't need to do it, you know it, right? We can find another way."

"Yes, but I want to do it." She said, then she touched his shoulder to comfort him. "Don't worry, it's going to be all right."

"I hope so." He said, not convinced.

Lisbon hated to give his boss an avoidable concern, but she needed to go at the bottom of this whole situation as soon as possible, it was also a way to end a chapter of her life and to be totally ready to enter in the new one. The truth was that she wanted to totally surrender to that lightness and excitement that she had already experimented before and to do that, she wanted to be free from her demons, her recent ones at least. She thought about the man who was entering like a tornado in her life, picturing him around a thousand models while he was trying to guess her favorite movie and that thought made her smile. She was bothered a little by the models though, maybe because she hadn't taken care of her physical aspect a lot in the last years or she hadn't pampered herself with new clothes and expensive make up and now she just hoped it wasn't too late.

"Boss, the McKidd files that you wanted." Van Pelt said, entering in her office.

"Thanks Grace." She said to her.

"No problem." She was about to leave her office when Lisbon stopped her.

"Grace?"

"Yes?"

"Where do you go for shopping? Usually I mean." She asked insecure.

"Oh it depends of what I need." She answered surprised.

"Right, what if I need everything?" Lisbon told her.

"Oh, in that case.. do you want a list?" She asked, making Lisbon laugh.

"Why not." Lisbon said.

"You know, I could come with you, if you want." Grace said excited.

Lisbon wanted to refuse at first but Grace's sweet excitement made her change her mind. "That would be lovely, thanks Grace.. tomorrow after work?"

"Perfect" She said smiling and Lisbon smiled in turn.

After a day spent at work, Jane gave himself the pleasure to enjoy his daughter's company, an event that always put him in a good mood and that he hoped it could soon become a daily thing.

He knew that Charlotte already suspected something about their relationship, she was becoming too smart and he needed to find the right moment to make the first step; he didn't know though, that Charlie would have surprised him once again.

"Charlie, remember Teresa?" Jane asked her while he was cooking her something healthy, for once.

"Yes, your friend that you like." She replied, raising her gaze from the book she was coloring.

"Do you like her?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes, you like her, I like her." She said logically.

"But, would you be happy to have her as a friend?"

"Yes." She replied excited. "She needs to buy her own dolls, though."

Jane laughed, "you're right, I'll tell her that. Dinner is ready in five." He told her but he didn't know that her following words would have changed everything.

"Ok, daddy."

"Charlie, how did you call me?" Jane asked, his heart pounding.

"Paddy." Charlie answered, not meeting his eyes. He knelt down in front of her, tilting her chin with his fingers.

"Charlie, how did you call me?" He repeated softly.

"Daddy." She said in a whisper. Jane tried to hide how affected he had been by that simple word and he stayed focused on Charlotte instead. "Why did you call me daddy?"

"Because you are my daddy." She replied logically.

"Am I?" He asked, sounded absurd even to himself.

"Yes because you look like me a lot."

"Well this doesn't mean that I'm your daddy." He said, trying to follow her theory. "What about Pete and Sam?

"They're your helpers." She replied.

"My helpers?"

"Yes, like Santa Claus' elves.. they help you when you have a lot of work to do." She said, looking at him. "But, when you haven't work anymore, I can come here and stay with you and we have the Hamburger's night and the pizza's night and we can stay together."

He smiled at her, his heart totally melted. "Would you like to come here more?" He asked hopefully and she nodded instantly.

"Charlie, look at me." He said, gathering the courage that he needed. "You are right and I'm not surprised because you're the smartest little girl I've ever met." He begun, noticing with delight the gleam in her eyes after his compliment. "I'm your daddy but there is something more you need to know."

"What?" She asked, gripping his sleeve.

"I've not been a very brave daddy when you were little." He said, finding her eyes.

"I'm adult now." She replied, looking at him and he chuckled, amused.

"Of course you are, but in the past I misbehaved toward you." He explained to her.

"Why?" She asked curious.

"Well, I wasn't feeling very well and I kept you distant from me because I wasn't brave enough to keep you with me."

"There were only you and me when I was little?" Charlotte asked, her fingers still around his sleeve.

"No." He sighed. "There was also mommy."

"Mommy?" She said, her eyes big. "I really had a mommy?" She asked excited.

Jane tried to hold his emotions. "Of course you had a mommy, her name was Angela."

"She's dead?" Charlotte asked immediately.

"Yes." He replied, caressing her hair.

"I bet she was beautiful." Charlotte said, smiling.

"You have no idea how much, you look like her more than what you think." He explained to her.

"I want to see her." Charlotte said.

"Wait here." Jane took a pic of Angela from his wallet and showed it to her. "This is your mommy."

"Wooow." She said with an enthusiasm that made him laugh. "She's too beautiful, I don't look like her." She said disappointed.

"You two have the same smile." Jane told her.

"That's not true." Charlotte said sad.

"Come with me." Jane said, taking her small hand. He picked her in his arms and put her in front of the mirror of the bathroom, then he took the pic in his hand and put it near her face. "Ok, look at the mirror, now." He said to her. "That's it, now smile." He told her, tickling her slightly on the belly.

She squirmed a little under his arm, laughing, but then she settled down, smiling in front at her.

Her face was full of surprise while she kept looking at her reflection in the mirror, next to her mother's pic.

"We have the same smile." She almost screamed in his ears.

"Told you." He said, laughing.

"She's so pretty.. I want to put that thing that she has on her lips." Charlie said, pointing at the mirror.

"Here we are! No Charlie, you're too young for that." He said, looking at the two of them in the mirror, three of them, counting Angela's pic. That sight should have made him sad but at the contrary, made him feel a sweet melancholy that gave him an unexpected warm. He gave a last look in front of him and then he put the pic in his wallet again, still holding Charlotte in his arms.

"Let's go find a movie to watch while we're eating, little one." He said then.

"Frozen?" She said, expectantly.

"Something new, I see." He said, chuckling, then he put her down on the couch and went in the kitchen to take the food.

"Can I call you daddy?" He heard her asking from the couch.

"You have to." He replied, is voice a little rough while the first tears left his eyes. He dried them quickly and reached her on the couch.

"Will you keep me?" She asked him immediately. When she noticed his confusion, she asked again "will you keep me with you, now?"

"You're stuck with me, sweetheart." He replied, taking her in his arms.

An hour later, she was asleep, her head on his chest. He thanked, selfishly, her young naivety that had made her easily accept his behavior without a hint of rage or disappointment. He knew that those moments would have arrived in the future, when that naivety would have turned in adolescent rebellious, but he was happy now and he just hoped to have the possibility, one day, of forgiving himself in the process. He took the phone from the pocket of his pants and typed something. _Notting Hill? Pretty woman? Rocky Balboa? The Exorcist?_

He sent it to Lisbon and looked at her account's pic on the phone. He smiled then, realizing how lucky he was.

Lisbon smiled, reading the text she had just received, it helped her to release the tension a little bit, even if she needed to stay focused. She met Thomas Volker in an elegant terrace of Sacramento, in one of the most expensive restaurant of the town, at least her choice of wardrobe had been accurate. She wore an elegant black cocktail dress and despite the fact that she hated the idea of dressing up for a man like him, at least she didn't feel out of place; besides, she couldn't go out dressed in jeans and blouse or he would have quickly called her bluff. Everything had to seem like a normal date and she needed to pretend from the start. The thing she didn't pretend was that sense of awe she felt every time he looked at her or complimented her, making her feel like a piece of meat to devour quickly.

"I'm still surprised you accepted my invitation, Miss Lisbon." He said, sipping his wine.

"Please, call me Teresa." She said.

"Teresa." He pronounced her name with a strange innuendo. "You know, actually, I'm not that surprised after all."

"Why not?" She asked curious.

"Because you and me, my dear, are very similar.. and since I don't believe that opposites attract very much, I guess it's normal that we are attracted to each other." He explained, staring at her.

"How can you say that? You don't know me." She replied, trying to hide her irritation.

"Well, stop me if I'm wrong." He said, filling her glass again. "Teresa Lisbon, you are a free spirit, just like me.. you've never had a serious relationship, or better, you've never been in love because then you get bored.. you enjoy solitude because, at the contrary of what it seems or what you believe, you have a high concept of yourself, you estimate your person so much that you don't find anyone able to be at your level.. your real love is the chase, chase everything and everyone.. chase me, in a very stubborn way if I have to say, chase love? Maybe but then once you have found it, you don't want it anymore. You don't want the prize, you want the climb."

Lisbon tried to ignore how much those words had shaken her, especially because she knew that some of the things he had just said were sadly true.

"We are like Dustin Hoffman who takes away Katharine Ross from the altar and then looks at her with that uncertainty and that hint of disappointment painted of the face.. like to say, what now?" He added then.

"The Graduate." She said, almost whispering.

"Amazing movie, isn't it?"

"My favorite." She said weakly.

He smirked, raising the glass toward her to make a toast. "I guess I know you a little bit, after all."

 **It seems that Volker is playing with Lisbon's mind, but it's just the beginning! I hope you like the chapter, let me know, please!**


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